Perach Katan
by time.forgets
Summary: It was a little girl, not much older than four with dirty blonde hair and large brown eyes that were almost hidden by the dirt and grime that covered her face and body. "Shalom Yalda". Slight Tony/Ziva. Read and review, Jules.
1. Chapter 1

This was an idea that came to me late one night and no matter how hard I tried it wouldn't go away, so now I am posting it for you. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks to Domino for helping me with this chapter and also Black24 for helping me with my Hebrew, I hope it meets up to both your expectations. Please Review everyone, it makes my day and makes more chapters.

Tony/Ziva pairing but not massively full on...yet anyway.

Disclaimer- I don't own recognisable characters but I do own Kiara.

* * *

"Tony." She said as quietly as she could, while pointing to a tiny crevice between the wall and a huge crate. As they ran towards it, they both pulled out their guns, aiming at whatever was making the quiet noises in the hiding spot.

Ziva looked around the crate to see a small and grubby purple blanket, worn thin by whatever hardships came by living in the deserted ally way.

"This is NCIS, come out." Tony's strong voice echoed around the dark street, causing a stray cat to jump out of a bin and run away with a hiss.

"I said come out!" He yelled again, but this time it was followed by scrambling as someone tried to get out of the tiny space.

Ziva squeezed in the gap and grabbed a little body that was about to run away and dragged her out.

Out of the small space they could see the person more clearly. It was a little girl, not much older than four with dirty blonde hair and large brown eyes that were almost hidden by the dirt and grime that covered her face and body.

Tony looked down at the tiny girl in shock; he wasn't expecting that when Gibbs told them to search the ally in case they had missed something.

The girl's eyes followed Ziva's face as she knelt down so she was eye to eye with her.

"_Shalom Yalda_"

The girl looked up so she was eye to eye with Ziva. "I don't understand." She said, her little voice barely above a whisper.

"It's Hebrew, it means hello. What's your name little one?"

"Kiara." She said, her voice slightly stronger this time.

"My name's Ziva and this is Tony. We're from NCIS, sort of like the police. Where is your mum?"

"She's dead. You and Tony took her away." Ziva and her partner exchanged meaningful looks. They didn't know the dead ex-marine woman living on the streets had a daughter, Gibbs was going to kill them.

"Ziva?" The little girl said quietly, breaking their concentration away from their upcoming torture. She looked at Kiara, her eyes questioning. The little girl put her arms up, asking to be picked up soundlessly, a request Ziva couldn't deny her.

Ziva picked her up and cradled her against her body. As tough as this girl seemed on the outside, managing to stay alive for two days without her mother or apparently anyone, she was still a four year old girl and as soon as Ziva picked her up, she put her face against her shoulder and cried. Hugging Ziva as if she was her only lifeline.

"Come on_ Perach Katan_, let's take you back to NCIS headquarters. See if we can get you cleaned up." She said, trying to brush her fingers through Kiara's matted and dirty hair but giving up when they nearly got stuck.

Kiara pulled away from Ziva, tears leaving tracks down her face but her eyes asking her a question she couldn't voice at the moment.

"I might tell you what it means later _Perach, _but now we had better get back before our boss kills us."

* * *

Kiara clung to Ziva all the way to headquarters where they met Gibbs in the elevator where, as usual, he flicked the emergency switch.

"Who is that." He said, gesturing to the little girl in Ziva's arms.

"Well you see boss," Tony started "Me and Ziva finished looking over the ally early so we snuck off to a hotel and made lo-" He was cut off by a hard slap to the back of his head.

"This is Kiara, Gibbs. She is the daughter of our dead ex-marine. She may have seen her mother murdered, she might have seen the killer." Ziva whispered the last part, trying to stress how important this little girl could be to the case.

"Take Kiara down to the showers, get her cleaned up, then interview her- see what she can remember. See if you can get a sketch" He flicked the switch again and the elevator moved towards the bull-pen.

* * *

"Kiara, do you want to sit down for a little bit, I've got to do some computer work." Ziva said, stealing Tony's chair for the little girl. "Would you like some paper to draw on?"

She nodded a tiny nod, her eyes meeting Ziva's for the smallest second then going back to look at the desk.

Ziva got paper from the printer and pencils from her desk drawer, handing them silently to Kiara who looked up, a tiny smile on her angelic face. Ziva smiled back, noting that this was the first time Kiara had smiled, shown some emotion other than worry and fright.

As soon as she was settled down drawing, Ziva started typing up the report. She muttered Hebrew curse words under her breath as she got up to go to the photocopier. She hated that photocopier. It had finally finished copying and she turned angrily to back to her desk when she almost ran into Kiara, who was right behind her.

"_Metuka_ what are you doing?" Ziva said a hard edge to her voice and she saw Kiara draw back slightly, like she was afraid. Ziva mentally kicked herself for being so rude. It wasn't Kiara's fault the photocopier was stupid. She once again knelt down so she was the same height as the little girl and put her hands gently on her shoulders.

"I'm sorry _Metuka_, I didn't see you. Did you want something?" Ziva asked, her voice falling to the same volume as Kiara's, barely above a whisper, hoping to soothe the scared girl but instead of answering her she just looked at the ground and gently shook her head no.

Ziva put one finger under the girls chin and lifted her head so she was looking right at her.

"Let me finish this report then we'll go and get you cleaned up. How does that sound?"

Kiara just looked at her. Ziva felt so helpless; she wanted to help the little girl so much, she wanted her to talk again, to see that tiny smile on her face, to start to recover. She knew seeing your mother die was traumatizing. She knew exactly what it felt like and no matter how many people say that there is no way you can remember back to when you were four, remember when you saw the person that gave you life being killed in such a brutal way, she could. She could remember every detail and it ran around in her head at night. During the day she was fine; she could control her thoughts and emotions while she was awake but when she was asleep, anything could get her. Maybe that's why she was becoming attached to the little girl, because she reminded Ziva of herself. Or maybe because she reminded her of Tali.

When she realised she wasn't getting an answer, Ziva stood up and walked to Gibbs's desk to put the finished report on there and she realised with a small smile that Kiara had followed her the whole way, holding onto the edge of her jacket as tight as she could. In stead of trying to talk to her again, Ziva put out her hand for Kiara to hold which the little girl did, holding on tight, feeling the soft but calloused hand of her new friend. The hand that was keeping her from spiralling off into a dark place where the death of her mother would catch up to her and knock her off her feet and keep her that way forever.

* * *

"There we are, there is a person under there!" She said, scrubbing Kiara's face, removing all the dirt and grime, exposing a pale face with a tiny nose and rosy pink lips.

"You okay to wash your hair?" Ziva asked, turning the shower on to warm up the water. Kiara looked up at the jets of water, a look of horror on her face. The shower could be scary to a four year old. Especially to one who hadn't had a shower before.

"I have baths. It looks scary Ziva, can you help me?" Ziva looked at Kiara, she looked genuinely scared of the shower. She was about to tell her to not worry about it, that there was nothing to be frightened of but then she remembered back to when she was four years old and was terrified of the washing machine. She wouldn't go near it no matter how many times her father yelled at her that there was nothing to worry about until Ari came in with her, holding her hand and they sat in front of it for hours until she wasn't scared anymore.

"Okay, but you gotta promise me something."

Kiara walked closer until she was face to face with Ziva. "I promise." She whispered, her eyes letting Ziva know that she was telling the truth, not that she had anything to lie about-she was only four.

That nearly made Ziva break down there. The girl had been through so much in her short life, living on the streets, fighting to stay alive everyday but she still was ready to trust Ziva with anything. Trust her to keep her safe. Ziva wished she could have some of that innocence back.

"That once I showed you that it's safe, you won't be scared anymore."

"How do I know it's safe?" Kiara asked quietly, looking deep into Ziva's eyes. Brown meeting brown.

"Would I lie to you?" Ziva said just as quietly, keeping eye contact, hoping so much that Kiara would say she trusted her.

They looked into each others eyes, Kiara's flickering, not sure which of Ziva's eyes to pick, Ziva's gaze staring straight and unwavering at the little girl.

Ziva saw it first in her eyes; a spark of something special. It lit up not only her eyes but her whole face, bringing light and colour to her pale cheeks and a tiny but sure smile to her lips. It was trust. Kiara trusted Ziva with all her heart and was trying to tell her that even though at the moment she couldn't talk, not yet anyway. She then threw herself into Ziva's waiting arms, squeezing her like she'd never let go.

Ziva hugged the little girl tightly, feeling the start of tears come into her eyes but she forced them down. "How about we get that hair washed _Perach Katan_."

* * *

"What's that?" The now clean Kiara asked, pointing at Ziva's cup of coffee. "It smells funny."

Ziva looked at the little girl with a small smile. Seeing as all her clothes were filthy, they had both tried to find something she could wear in NCIS's spare clothes. Unfortunately all that was there was huge tracksuit pants and jumpers. Knowing that nothing was going to fit, Ziva got one of the huge grey jumpers and slipped it on over Kiara's head. It fell down past her knees but as soon as Ziva had put it on her, Kiara hadn't wanted to take it off. She said it was warmer than anything she'd ever had. That made Ziva pick her up and kiss her gently on the head.

Ziva knew she was getting attached but no matter what she did she couldn't help but love the little girl; she was so much like Tali. Ziva would force herself to stay away from Kiara but then she would put her arms up, a solemn almost sad expression on her face and Ziva couldn't help but pick her up and hold her close, like she was the one thing keeping her alive at that moment. Maybe she was.

"It's coffee _Perach Katan. _I don't think you would like it."

Kiara made a face at it then looked around the bull-pen, trying hard not to sniff the coffee smell. Her eyes fell on Tony who was watching her intently.

Not trusting herself to talk to Tony like she could Ziva, she tried asking him with her eyes like she did Ziva. She tried for at least a minute when Ziva loudly said from her desk.

"She's wondering why you're looking at her Tony."

Tony went to answer but then stopped himself. He couldn't exactly tell Kiara the real reason, first of all the girl would probably be scared of him and secondly Ziva would kill him a lot. He didn't know how she could kill him a lot as it was hard to kill someone a little bit but if anyone could do it, it was his ninja.

He had to make up a reason fast; because if Ziva found out he was thinking about her as a mother he wouldn't live to see tomorrow. She had never seemed to connect well with the children who came in. They didn't hate her or anything like that but she never managed to be loved by them. She was just another person.

When Tony saw the girl hold onto Ziva at the crime scene, he thought it was a natural reaction of a little girl- to be scared after seeing her mother die, but when they got back to NCIS and even after Ziva had cleaned up Kiara, the girl had barely let go of her, following her around everywhere. This was more than a need for a little girl to be hugged, he could tell that by the light in Ziva's eyes. He had never seen her like this, so happy without showing it to anyone but Kiara- and he was jealous; of a four year old girl. He wanted to be the one to make her happy like that, wanted to be the one to put that curious light in her eyes. But he couldn't say that to Kiara while Ziva was right there.

"Would you like to see the drawing I did of you two?" He said, looking down at the piece of office paper he had been doodling on where, if you squinted, you might have been able to see two people-one slightly shorter than the other one.

Kiara let out a tiny giggle, just loud enough to carry across to Tony's desk and make him pout and look at his picture.

"What's wrong with it?"

Kiara didn't answer, only leant down and started to draw what Tony guessed was her own picture of Ziva and herself, one which, embarrassingly enough, would probably be better than his.

If anyone had looked at Ziva they would have been startled to see a smile lighting up her face, something the Mossad agent didn't have often. Kiara had giggled. Nearly laughed at something and she was talking more, slowly opening up even if it was only to Ziva.

Slowly, a picture was being pushed over her work, covering it up inch by inch.

It was a picture of her and Kiara standing next to a tree and a bush. It was simple, something you'd expect from a four year old, but what really made Ziva's heart warm was that in her picture, Kiara and her were holding hands, big smiles on their faces and above each of them was their name written carefully and in a pretty purple colour obviously done with much care as nearly all of the letters were in a straight line. Not bad for a four year old.

"Hey Tony!" Ziva called as she slowly walked up to his desk, Kiara's picture in hand, the little girl silently following. "I think Kiara's picture beats yours." She said, her voice light and joking but when he looked deep into her eyes he could see an almost crazed look. Something was falling apart in the world of Ziva David and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop it.

* * *

_Jules._


	2. Chapter 2

AN. You have no idea how much trouble this chapter caused me. Someone logged off my computer before I could save it and I lost most of it so I had to type it all up and before that I was on holiday and there was no interent so I wrote it ut by hand so then I had to type it all up and then I tried to get it edited but my editer has gone to Melbourne and doesnt have a computer with her so any mistakes in here are my fault but I have checked more than I usually do so I hope it's okay. Please review when you've finished reading, I really want to know what everyone thinks, the next chapter will probably be the last because if I drag my stories out I tend to not finish them. So please review and I hope to get the next chapter out faster than I did this one.

Disclaimer- I don't own anyone but Kiara. And I don't own the songs either- _Come Fly With Me- Frank Sinatra  
Why Can't We Be Friends- Sublime  
Play That Funky Music- Wild Cherry  
Ignorance- Kasey Chambers_

* * *

Tony was watching Ziva again, not watching but scrutinising her. Looking right to the bottom of her eyes looking at her soul. Ziva hoped her Mossad training would pull through and hide any of her feelings that he might see but deep down she knew she couldn't hide the crazed, tormented look she saw whenever she looked in a mirror, not to Tony anyway.

"Ziva," Tony whispered, completely forgetting about the picture, instead talking to Ziva the best way they could, silently.

Ziva knew as soon as he whispered her name that he had seen everything, that her strong brick walls had crashed down, allowing him to see the beautiful but crumbling mansion within, a mansion that needed time, care and love to build it back up to the beautiful state it used to be in.

But there is something about old crumbling houses that makes it more beautiful than if it was whole. The large cracks that have been filled with tiny creatures that come out during the night, green vines that snaked around the whitewashed walls, holding it together temporarily, waiting for a more permanent glue.

Ziva was unable to look away from Tony's eyes, the bright green orbs holding her gaze, taking her away from the world for a few moments until she was pulled back by a small tug on her jacket.

Ziva looked down at Kiara, her brown eyes asking the older woman to come down to her level.

"Can I sit on Tony's lap?" she whispered ever so quietly into Ziva's ear, dreading the answer would be no.

Ziva felt strange smiling this much but she couldn't help the grin that came to her face at this question. Tony was ever the ladies man, even to a four year old.

"Of course you can _Metuka." _She replied, picking her up gently and walking around so they were behind Tony's desk.

"What's the matter Tony, off with the elves?" Ziva said jokingly.

"Pixies." Tony said almost tiredly. "It's off with the pixies, Ziva."

"Are you okay?" Ziva asked, dropping her voice to the same volume as Tony's, bending over so her head was next to his, concern lacing her words.

"Yeah, I just need a bit of sleep, I'm tired." He said, smiling again, almost looking like the Tony she was used to. But not quite.

"You have no idea." She said murmuring quietly, forgetting she was so close to Tony and that he could hear what she usually kept to herself.

"Ziva…" Tony started, moving closer to her, finally realising the pain she was feeling, the pain that laced through her words.

"Go home you two, you look dead." Gibbs said, perfect timing as usual, walking through the bull-pen, making Tony jump up with surprise.

"Ben Zona." Ziva muttered under her breath.

"What does that mean?" The little girl in her arms asked, her brown eyes wide and innocent.

"Umm…" Ziva stumbled. "I'll tell you when you're older."

"Ziva, Kiara's under your protective custody, take good care of her and remember she's four so make sure she goes to bed at a reasonable time." He said, walking up to her and giving her the Gibbs stare. She replied by giving him her own 'death glare'.

"Just because I don't have a child does not mean I don't know how to look after one!" Ziva exclaimed. She had taken care of Tali when their mother died, which was a big responsibility for a four year old. She knew what she was doing.

She realised after it was too late. That Gibb's was scrutinising her too. Was it that obvious that she was coming undone at the seams? That her life was spinning out of control as she slept? The answer was no, not usually, but after her silent conversation with Tony, she was vulnerable and she couldn't stop the flow of emotions pouring out of her eyes.

She looked down for a second, regaining her composure before looking back up at him, her emotions carefully shielded by the brick wall that was once again standing tall and unmovable.

Gibb's narrowed his eyes, he knew something was wrong with Ziva; her encounter with Tony wasn't like anything he had seen between the two of them, almost like they were talking to each other without words.

Not to mention the little girl. He could see since he first saw her that she was attached to her, more than even he got with children and that scared him. What if it affected her work? What if something happened to the girl? He didn't know if Ziva would be able to cope. And what would happen when they were forced to give the girl to Social Services? The girl didn't have a father that they knew of and her mother had changed her names so many times that they weren't sure if they could find any family, or if they were still alive. Ziva had better watch herself but for tonight the girl needed to stay with someone she could trust and at the moment, that person was Ziva.

"Come on _Perach Katan_, it's time to go home."

---

"What do you want for dinner?" Ziva asked Kiara, keeping her eyes trained on the road and her driving to legal speed.

"Pizza!" The little girl said excitedly, looking at Ziva with a big smile before looking back down at the floor again.

"Pizza? In that case I know the perfect place." She replied, turning the wheel sharply and doing a rather fast and illegal U-turn, before pulling up into one of her and Tony's favourite pizza parlours.

"Ah Ziva! Where is Tony tonight?" The manager asked with a think Italian accent. "And who is this young lady?"

When he looked at Kiara though, she got scared and tried to hide behind Ziva.

"Have you and Agent DiNozzo neglected to tell me something?" He asked with a wink.

"How many times do we have to tell you, Tony and I are just friends." Ziva replied tersely.

"Until you stop denying it with your eyes." He said with a chuckle. "Now who is your friend?"

"This is Kiara," Ziva said, pulling Kiara from behind her and picking her up. As soon as she was in Ziva's arms though, she buried her head in Ziva's shoulder, her heart racing.

"I'm taking care of her for a while."

He was about to ask why when he saw a familiar head walk up the path and opened the door with a jingle.

"Tony!" Te manager said good-naturedly.

At the sound of his name, Kiara looked over the top of Ziva's shoulder, smiling slightly when she saw it was her Tony.

"Hi Tony." She said quietly so Tony could only just hear it, her warm breath making Ziva's hair move slightly.

"Hey Kiddo." He replied gently, walking towards her then tugging Ziva's hair gently.

She turned around to glare at him but was surprised at how close he was and took a step back.

"Can I?" He asked excitedly. _Can I come and help you with Kiara tonight? _His eyes asked. Ziva glared at him for a few more seconds before sighing slightly and turning away from him to order.

"Fine but you're paying."

The manager looked at the two of them with amusement. Why couldn't they see they were both in love with each other? Not the sappy, _I love you, my life would never be the same without you_ love, but love none the less.

"See you Alfonso!" Ziva called out as they left the shop, two hot pizzas in one arm, Kiara in the other.

"For the last time it's Fonzie!"

---

Ziva pulled into her driveway, Tony close behind and walked to her front door, Kiara once again on her hip.

Once they were inside, Tony started dishing up the pizza while Ziva showed Kiara around her house.

"And this _Perach Katan_ is your room," Ziva said, opening the door to the small spare room one over from hers. "I'm right next door so if you need anything you come and get me okay. Do you like it?"

Kiara looked up and Ziva, a tiny smile once again on her face.

"A whole room for me? Wow, thankyou." She said before grabbing Ziva's leg and hugging it tightly. "I love you Ziva."

Ziva's eyes went wide with shock. The girl hadn't even known her a whole day yet she already loved her. It was a strange feeling, knowing you were loved, one she hadn't felt properly since Tali's death thirteen years ago. NCIS was her family now but even though they were close, they didn't have the unconditional love that real families and now Kiara and her had.

"I-"

"Hey, I was wondering where you two were, pizzas getting cold." Tony said, barging into the room, knowing as soon as he saw the small, strange glimmer in Ziva's eyes that he had interrupted something. He could practically hear Ziva's Hebrew cursing in his head, wait! It was because she was doing it out loud.

"Lech Tizdayen"

_Oops_, he thought. _Snap back to it DiNozzo._

_---_

"What is this song anyway Tony?" Ziva asked from her spot on the couch.

"It's your CD, how should I know?" Tony retorted immaturely, poking his tongue out at Ziva after.

"Because you gave it to me!" She yelled exasperatedly.

"Well of course I did, it's awesome." He said, a classic DiNozzo smile on his face, his foot tapping along in time to the song. "May I have this dance?" He asked, getting up off the couch and extending his hand out to Kiara.

She smiled one of her rare huge smiles and jumped up to join Tony but just as she did the song ended and her wide smile faltered.

_Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away_

_If you can use some exotic booze_

_There's a bar in far Bombay_

_Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away_

"Sinatra!" Tony said gleefully, picking up Kiara gently and placing her tiny feet on his and started to waltz stupidly around the room. Ziva looked over the back of the couch laughing at the strange pair as they twirled around the room and every time they passed her Tony would give her a wink and Kiara would let go of one of Tony's hand and give her an excited wave.

"Are you going to join us Sweetcheeks?" Tony asked between lifting Kiara up in the air and twirling her around.

Ziva didn't answer just smiled and jumped from the couch but just as she got over to Kiara and started to jive with her the song ended.

The next song was rather slow though, with a strong drum beat and as the song went along, the brass came in. Seeing as it was too slow to dance to while they were this excited, Ziva walked over to the CD player to change. Her finger was on the button when another larger hand covered hers and stopped it from changing the song.

"What are you doing Tony?" She asked, a hint of a threat to her voice as she turned around to face him, effectively trapping herself between his arms and the bookshelf.

He didn't answer her, just stared into her eyes in the way that made her feel all funny inside, all tingly.

Just as the music was building up in a crescendo though, he moved closer before it hit a peak and he jumped away waving his arms and head in ways that might be considered dancing.

_Why can't we be friends?_

_Why can't we be friends?_

_Why can't we be friends?_

_Why can't we be friends?_

Kiara and Ziva met each others gaze before laughing and joining Tony in his spaz movements, waving their heads around so their long hair knocked over various items in Ziva's apartment.

Ziva was dancing with Kiara, holding hands and twisting around in a weird way due to the height difference. Tony walked, well danced, over to the pair and pulled Ziva away so she turned around and catching her in a dip, Kiara squealing with laughter.

They all jumped around together until the song slowed down when they all collapsed on the floor singing, or more like yelling the simple lyrics. Tony and Ziva lay next to each other until Kiara ran and jumped on the two of them giggling loudly. Tony moaned in pain when her little knee went into his stomach and then moved her so she was laying between the two of them, Ziva and Tony's strong, warm arms wrapped around her, making her feel safer then she had ever felt before. She snuggled into the two of them, still singing along as the song died out knowing that at least she would be able to get to sleep easily.

"No way! I forgot I put this song on here!" Tony said excitedly as it changed song once again.

He jumped up and grabbed hand from each of his two girls, when they became his girls he didn't know but he was fine with hit.

_Play that funky music white boy_

_Play that funky music right!_

_Play that funky music white boy_

_Lay down the boogie _

_And play that funky music 'til you die_

The all started grooving appropriately to the song, Tony pulling Ziva into a ballroom hold as they tangoed, waltzed, jived, and salsa-d stupidly around the room before going over to Kiara and picking her up so she was clinging onto Tony her back pressed safely against Ziva making sure she didn't fall and then the three of them started to dance around, to anyone who came in, looking like they were drunk.

The song ended but they stayed together dancing still.

_Don't wanna read the paper_

_I don't like bad news_

_Last night a man got shot_

_Outside the House of Blues_

The mood changed instantly and instead of being stupid they all held onto each other tightly slowly dancing, Kiara still wedged safely between Tony and Ziva.

"Why is this song on here Tony?" Ziva asked quietly, noticing Kiara's were starting to droop tiredly.

"It reminded me of you Ziva." He whispered back, squeezing a hand between Kiara and Ziva so he could rub the little girl's back as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

When she was well and truly asleep Ziva took her and laid her down gently in her bed, pulling the covers over her and dropping a small kiss on her forehead.

"Laila tov _Perach Katan_" She whispered gently before heading out of the room, nearly running into Tony when he was standing just outside the door.

"Sorry Tony, I didn't see you." She said quietly, her eyes going down to the floor.

"Will you tell me what wrong Ziva?" He asked her, his green eyes begging her to tell him.

She knew that he wouldn't believe her if she said she was fine, he had seen it in her eyes before so she just looked up at him.

"Not this time Tony. Are you going now?"

"One last thing then I will." He said, smiling slightly and walking over to the now silent CD player, putting it back on the last song, _Ignorance_. "Would you like to dance Ziva?"

She looked at his outstretched hand, knowing that if she accepted it would surely lead to something bad, that she would say something she didn't want Tony to know. Say what was really troubling her but his face was so earnest and eager and she found herself taking his hand before she knew what was happening. He let a big smile overtake his face as she hesitantly put her arms around him and he pulled her close, relishing in the warmth of her slight body.

They danced slowly for a while, Ziva eventually letting her head rest on Tony's chest as he pulled her impossibly closer. Even after the music stopped and there was nothing but silence they stayed in each others embrace, Ziva nearly falling asleep before a small crash sounded from Kiara's room and Ziva yanked herself out of Tony's arms, running to the girls room her gun ready in her hands.

As she looked in the room, she saw the little girl fast asleep, her arm slumped by the bedside table, the clock that was there previously on the floor. Ziva was sure that was what the crash was but she didn't want to take any chances. She looked around the room quietly, Tony watching her from the door, before she went over to Kiara once again dropping a tiny kiss on her forehead as she pulled the covers over her.

"You love her don't you?" Tony said, his voice deep as he tried to keep quiet as possible. Ziva didn't answer him, only looked at him, anger and helplessness in her eyes. "What happens when you have to give her to Social Services?"

Ziva walked quickly over to Tony, her eyes blazing. "It's time for you to go."

"Ziva, I'm sor-"

"Go." She said, her voice quiet but her tone threatening and final.

'Zi…" He trailed off; looking deep into her eyes, trying to see what was haunting her.

"I cannot do this now, Tony, please go." She didn't meet his eyes at all as she showed him to the door and he walked away slowly, looking back at her once, worried at how her usually confident gaze was focussed at the floor.

"Buona notte Ziva."


	3. Chapter 3

AN. Yay I told you I'd get it out sooner. This dream is how the story started so I managed to post the other one, write this and go to the dentist to get a tooth pulled in the time between posting the last two chapters :D Pretty good huh? Oh well, here you are,

Please review! I've gotten tonnes of Story alerts and favourites but barely any reviews. The alerts and stuff is great and I appreciate it but please take the time a write a quick review, just a few words make me happy.

Disclaimer- I don't own anything.

Oh and I know that Ari didn't kill everyone it's just the way Ziva's dreaming it. If you have any questions (coz this chapters kinda odd) chuck them in a review.

* * *

She was on a rooftop with Ari. Not just any rooftop but the rooftop where he had set up his sniper rifle, ready to shoot Kate on the rooftop near them with Tony and Gibbs.

She saw what he was about to do and ran up to him, trying to pull him away from his rifle but it was like there was an invisible barrier around him and she couldn't get to him. She saw it in slow motion, the bullet flying out of the rifle, flying through the air, flying through Kate's head and flying on. She saw Kate go down like she was right next to her, saw the pain in Gibb's and Tony's face and they tried in vain to bring her back. Then she was in Israel.

Her mother had been taken by some of her father's men and she had followed them, even at the age of four, silent as some of the best agents. She saw them hold her mother down while one of the men put a bullet through her head, looking right into her eyes as he did. Ziva knew she had to be quiet or the men would find her so the sobs that racked her tiny body were completely silent and she only waited to see the face of the man who shot her before she ran. It was Ari, well at least in her dream it was and she couldn't escape his satisfied smirk as he wiped her mother's blood from his face.

She was in Tel Aviv, watching with amusement as her sister Tali looked through all the shops on the other side of the road, excitement lighting up her face when she found something she liked and ran in the shop to try it on. It hadn't been thirty second before the entire shop blew up, the blast making Ziva fly out of her chair where she was having a coffee and hitting the pavement behind her. She wasn't worried about her own injuries, only her sister and she ran towards the shop, ignoring her Mossad training on how to deal with a bomb and running straight towards it. And then she saw him, Ari, walking out of the rubble, completely unharmed with a bomb strapped to his chest, smiling the same satisfied smirk as Ziva chased after him, chasing to kill. But no matter how fast she ran she couldn't catch him even though he was walking and she fell to the ground, tears pouring down her face, heart breaking at the loss of the only thing she lived for these days, Tali.

Then she was in Abby's lab, holding a bag of evidence as she walked in the door but it was closed. That was unusual. She turned the handle and opened it only to have her heart stop at the sight before her. Abby cowering by her beloved computers as Ari aimed a sniper at her head. It was the same feeling as when he shot Kate, a kind of fire rushed through her and she tried to run and grab Ari to make him stop but she wasn't fast enough and a loud shot shook the lab and Abby lay on the floor, blood pooling from a hole in her head. She went to lunge at Ari, not bothering with a gun, needing to kill him with her bare hands but he walked past her in an instant and she was too late, not able to do anything but stare at Abby.

Then she was back at her house, the doorbell ringing as she walked towards it. She opened it and saw McGee standing there, holding a bottle of wine and dessert for the dinner party she had planned for tonight but then she saw behind him Ari, with a sniper rifle aimed at McGee's head, anticipation etched on his face. Ziva's warning yell was too late though and the bullet ripped through McGee's head, ghosting right through her harmlessly and then McGee toppled over, landing in her arms. She was holding back her tears as she dropped McGee's body and ran after Ari, not even trying to catch, just getting close enough to shoot him but as she put her hand where her gun usually was it was bare and by the time she had reached down to her ankle, Ari was gone.

They were in Autopsy, the images moving faster than normal now, bang Ducky was dead, killed by the supposedly dead body in its body bag just as Palmer ran in. _Bang _Palmer was dead too and she could stop the tears falling down her face as she tried to bring back her two friends from the dead.

Then she was in a car. It was familiar, not her mini but a car she had rented while she was working undercover ops with Jenny. She looked to the driver's seat and saw Jenny and she smiled briefly before she saw someone in the backseat. She spun herself around as quickly as possible but it wasn't fast enough and Jenny was dead against the steering wheel, blood flowing freely from her head, and with a small click the back passenger door closed and Ari got away again.

She was in her lounge room now. Sitting on the couch with Tony at the other end, watching one of his favourites, James Bond. She was laughing at the impression he was doing when all of a sudden a bang went off and he had stopped mid sentence, a ghost of a smile still on his face and Ziva closed the gap between them, trying in vain to stop the bleeding but a hole through his head was hard to fix and she fell into darkness clawing at her chest, trying to reach her heart and stop it breaking.

Then the darkness cleared and she was in Gibbs's basement and he was calmly working on his. She hoped for a second that he would make this all better, say that everyone survived and that he had shot Ari but all her hope faded when she saw Ari standing in the corner, Gibb's own gun trained at his head.

"I needed you to commit suicide with your own rifle" She heard Ari say but the rest was a blur as he pulled the trigger and Gibb's fell to the ground with a bang and she sprinted down the stairs, there was no way Ari was getting away this time.

She got to the bottom and walked right up close to him raising her small gun as she did to his head. But the gun changed and suddenly it was a sniper rifle and as she looked through the view, it wasn't Ari she was shooting at it was herself, but that didn't slow her down and she pulled the trigger and watched as her body fell to the ground, but it was okay, because that was good Ziva and now she was dead she could make sure nothing else would ever hurt her, that she cared for no one else, because if she didn't care about anyone, nothing could hurt her. But then she was in her house, in her spare room. There was only one more person she needed to get rid of. Only one more person stopping her.

Ziva woke up with a scream. The dream had been so real, so vivid. She saw all their faces flash through her head, pale and bloody in death and no matter how hard she tried they wouldn't go away and no matter how hard she tried she could get the image of herself shooting Kiara in the head.

"Kiara." She said fearfully, starting to pull herself from the bed when she heard a little voice from beside her.

"Yes?"

"Oh Kiara, I thought something had happened to you." Ziva said, letting the breath of air she had been holding out.

"Ziva did you have a bad dream too?" The little girl asked quietly. "I heard you scream after I came in. Was it scary?"

Ziva looked at Kiara with as big smile as she could muster after that dream.

"It was scary _Perach Katan_, but it was only a dream. What about you?" She asked tenderly, pulling the girl closer into her arms.

"It was a little scary, but I forgot about it when I came in with you." She said quietly, her little face serious and determined.

"Well that's good _Perach Katan,_ let's go back to sleep then." The little girl rolled over and snuggled back into Ziva, feeling the woman's strong and protective arms hold her while she slowly drifted to sleep, knowing that Ziva would keep the nightmares away.

Ziva on the other hand, was worried. If Kiara's strong, sweet presence couldn't get rid of the terrifying nightmares, was there anything out there that could. Ziva knew that she wouldn't go back to sleep tonight and for as long as she could until she found something that kept her from reliving the haunting death of all the people she loved, so with tears leaving tracks down her face and her heart racing she laid her head back down on the pillow, ready to endure the silent night until the safe light of morning came.


	4. Chapter 4

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Okay I know slow update and it's not the end which I said I'd post but I kinda had writers block I still kinda do so if you have ideas tell me in a PM or a review. I hope you like the chapter. I dont own anything etc. Please review, I am still getting lots of favourite story which is awesome but reviews really make me feel happy! I hope you enjoy this chapter, Jules.

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"Wow Ziva, you look like you've been hit by a truck!" Tony said as Ziva ran in late, Kiara in tow.

"Why thankyou Tony, that makes me feel so much better." She replied angrily getting right up close so he could really feel the anger and frustration radiating off of her.

"DiNozzo, David. You better have something for me." Gibbs said grumpily, striding through the bull-pen to his desk, slapping Tony on the head along the way, which made Kiara giggle.

"They don't, but I do boss." McGee said proudly walking up to his computer and opening his email. There was a security camera out the back of one of the bars, they didn't film the killing but we got a pretty good look at a potential suspect. Walter Mathews- he was out in the alleyway an hour before Kiara's mum's death but then walks out of frame. He walks back out nearly half an hour later, takes a look at the camera and then ducks out of sight. Looks like we've got our killer boss."

McGee looked at Gibbs, a big smile on his face, waiting for the praise he wanted.

"Why didn't you find this sooner McGee? You're with me, Tony you and Ziva are on protection duty with Kiara and look through those tapes to make sure we haven't missed anything." McGee was slightly crestfallen at the reply he'd got about solving, well maybe solving the case.

"Good job McGee." Gibbs said with a knowing smile before stepping into the waiting elevator.

"I need to go and see Abby. Can you watch Kiara for a second?" Ziva asked Tony, turning to him as soon as McGee and Gibbs were safely behind the closed doors of the elevator.

"Okay.' He replied, looking deep into her eyes to see if he could find out why she was keeping it from Gibbs but all he saw was the walls she had managed to build up after last night and after she felt Tony had been staring at her too long, she walked towards the elevator and went down to Abby's lab.

"Hey Kiddo!" Tony said excitedly, picking the little girl up and walking behind his desk. "Did you have a good sleep?" He asked, sitting down on his chair and placing Kiara on his lap.

She looked at him. Ziva trusted him, he had come over and had pizza with them and danced, he had made her and Ziva laugh and then he made sure she didn't fall when they were dancing slow. She could trust him, couldn't she?

"I had a bad dream, and then I couldn't get back to sleep. Ziva was screaming and making noises, she said she had a scary dream to but it was okay now. When I heard Ziva though I went and stayed in her bed to try and fix it. She called me Tali." The little girl added, confusion etched in her face.

Tony was in shock. Ziva was screaming in her sleep, having dreams about Tali, her little sister. He wasn't sure if anyone else knew, but he was almost sure he was the only one. Ziva only opened up to him because she thought she would never see him again, so when she knew she was staying, he presumed she kept it locked up. Maybe Tali had something to do with the crazed look he could see whenever he looked into her eyes. Maybe that was what was haunting her.

"Abby?" Ziva asked quietly from the Forensic Scientist's lab door. "Do you remember when you said that I could talk to you if I needed? Well I need to talk now."

Abby didn't hesitate and pulled Ziva into a big hug, squeezing her tightly as if she could squeeze the pain away.

"It's Kiara isn't it?" Abby asked, pulling out of the hug and looking at Ziva.

"Yes." She said tersely, not meeting Abby's eye. "I can't let her go." When she realised Abby wasn't going to say anything, she mentally hit herself for being so weak and letting her problem, she couldn't afford that luxury. She started walking out when a voice stopped her.

"Ziva," Abby said, just above a whisper, right as she was about to walk out the door.

Ziva stopped. Abby sounded so much like Kiara then, hushed with a slightly scared tone, it sounded so familiar she turned around, shock evident on her face.

Ziva knew she had to let Kiara go, she wouldn't be able to stay with her forever. Ziva couldn't keep her safe forever, but no matter how much she tried, she couldn't get the image of herself shooting Kiara in the head, the bullet ripping through her tiny skull, killing her instantly, couldn't stop thinking maybe she was the thing Kiara should be protected from. She was a killer, a machine build perfectly for killing, lying and torturing. Maybe it would be better if Kiara stayed away.

"Ziva!" A small voice interrupted her thoughts.

Kiara ran into the lab, closely followed by Tony who was chasing her, huge smiles on both their faces.

"Say hello to Abby _Perach Katan_." Ziva said sternly but with a hint of a smile on her anxious features.

"Hello Abby." Kiara said shyly, half hiding behind Ziva from the stranger. Curious but afraid.

"Hey Kiara! It's so great to finally meet you! Coz Gibb's was telling me about you and Tony told me about you and then Ziva told me about you and Timmy doesn't really know what's going on so I had to tell him stuff which is kinda funny seeing as he's met you and I haven't but I know more about you than him and…" Abby rambled on for a while, skipping around her lab. She had obviously had extra Caff-Pows today and was trying to burn off the energy. Kiara looked around Ziva's leg. Abby's energy was infectious and soon Kiara was skipping around the lab too, stopping and dancing to Abby's loud music every now and then.

Ziva was going to miss this. She was going to miss Kiara and her bright light that seemed to get inside of everyone who met her. The light had made Ziva dance around like she didn't have a care in the world, had made Tony dance seriously with Ziva, holding both her and Kiara closer than he had anyone in a long time, had made McGee sit at his desk unable to take his eyes away from her when he was supposed to be doing work, had made the ice in Gibbs's eyes that had been there since Jenny had died melt a tiny bit, and it had made Abby's own light even brighter and the effect was almost blinding as the two danced around the lab.

"Hey Abby, Gibb's told us to watch the security tapes to see if there was anything McGee missed, can you put them on the plasma?" Tony asked, his tone bored at the thought at watching hours and hours of people walking thought the alley, and that was the interesting bits.

After half an hour of watching, Tony had fallen asleep three times but every time he started to drift off, Ziva would poke him hard and fast in the side and he jump up then get back to watching the TV. After Ziva had nearly fallen asleep for the second time she got up and walked over to where Kiara was watching her own movie on one of Abby's computers with Abby. Beauty and the Beast. Damn her, Ziva would much rather have been watching that than what she and Tony had to watch.

She made her way slowly back to the plasma, wanting to get out of watching as much footage as possible.

"Zee-vaah." Tony whined, drawing out her name annoyingly. As if watching the stupid video wasn't enough, she had to watch it with Tony. Sure they used to watch movies together. Years ago, before Jeanne, before Jenny died and before he was out as an agent afloat. Before all their troubles, before the nightmares and before being apart. She hadn't watched a movie with him for a long time now and strangely enough she found herself wanting to so much. She wanted to fall back into the routine of 'movie nights' every Wednesday, with dinner, popcorn, beer, ice-cream and Tony.

She had just sat down when the phone rang and with a groan she got back up and answered it.

"Forensics."

"Get DiNozzo and come up now. Case is solved, the guy admitted on scene." Sometimes cases were like that. Boring. Easy. And she hadn't even gotten a chance to interrogate the bastard.

"Gibbs wants us upstairs. The guy confessed." Ziva stated getting her things together before she realised that Tony was well and truly asleep, his mouth hanging open, slumped against the chair. Ziva smiled gently and moved across the room to wake him up. She had only known him to fall asleep in one movie, not that this was much of a movie but anyway, and it was Beauty and the Beast. Not because he thought it was boring, on the contrary he actually enjoyed even though he didn't think so when she suggested it. It was because of the case they had just been working on. A hard one on all of them but Tony had taken it really hard and he had fallen asleep on Ziva's lap, snoring quietly until she woke him up and help him to his bed before she turned off the TV and went home.

"Tony." She whispered quietly, but he didn't wake up. Now was her chance.

Sure she'd done it successfully once and another three unsuccessfully but it was still way too much fun to pass up. Getting one of Abby's water bottles from the fridge, walked up behind him and tipped nearly all of the iced water over his head.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm GUNNA KILL YOU ZIVA!" He screamed, jumping out of the chair and chasing her all the way to the elevator where she was madly trying to press the button for the doors to close.

They wouldn't close fast enough though and Tony slipped in beside her, a furious expression on his face and an almost scared one on hers. Almost.

The elevator doors shut and Tony leant over, using his height as an advantage as he moved next to her.

Just when she was closing her eyes, expecting to be tortured or tickled, or both; but then Tony started talking and it was gentler than she had ever heard it, even more so than last night when they were dancing.

"Ziva, you need to tell me what's wrong."


	5. Chapter 5

A.N I know, I've done it again- this ISN'T the last chapter like I said it was gunna be like two chapters ago but I havent posted in a while and the main reason is school has started agaon and so has dance no I have no spare time and most of this chapter was written in health and science classes so sorry again for slow updates but hopefully this will keep you satisfied until I can get the final chapter (and I'm fairly sure that the next chapter WILL be the final chapter) out so I hope you enjoy this chapter and I would like to say thanks to my friends who constantly helped me when I'd scream at them I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT and putting up with my craziness. Also this chapter wouldn't be out without the song, Another Door Closes by Jont. so after this MASSIVE authors note- heres the chapter- read and review :D

Disclaimer- I only own Kiara but if you REALLY want her you can borrow her.

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_"Ziva, you need to tell me what's wrong."_

Ziva didn't break down. Mossad agents were taught not to break down. If you break down you die. If you love you die, if you feel emotions you die. Everyone thought she was so strong but she wasn't. Sure she could kill someone with a paperclip, kill someone and leave absolutely no trace but inside she was a wreck. At Mossad they teach you to follow orders, not to think. If you think you realise how wrong the things they do are. Ziva didn't think anymore, she just did. But since coming to America, since working at NCIS there was something else she did. She felt.

If she felt something was right she did it, if she felt angry she voiced it, if she felt lost…

So she wasn't perfect at saying what she was feeling yet, at least she was feeling; which was more than she did all those years as Mossad. She was learning to feel and it was bittersweet. She liked the feeling of Abby's hugs, of Gibbs's head slaps, of Ducky's long talks, of McGee smile and Tony's care. She wanted to be cared by Tony, she just didn't know how. She liked all of that but there were downsides to these feelings. Her thing for Tony, no matter how hard she tried to she couldn't stop it and the feeling went around and around her head every time she was around him. And the feelings made the nightmares come back. The terrifying almost real nightmares except now, instead of just watching her mother and sister die, she had to endure everyone she loved. And the person who did it was Ari. But it wasn't Ari, it was her. It was at these moments, when she tried to make sense of the dreams that she would throw her emotions at a wall, knowing she'd crawl back to them later but not wanting anything to do with them at that moment.

"I can't." And that was the truth. She didn't know if she could tell Tony, or anyone for that matter her haunting nightmares without completely breaking down. And that would make her weak.

"I'm sorry Tony."

Tony didn't look away, he kept on staring into her eyes, knowing there was no way in hell he'd be able to break her-she was Mossad, but trying anyway. Maybe she wouldn't break, but just tell him. As a friend. He was her friend. So they hadn't had a proper movie night for a long time, they had grown apart since Jeanne, the Directors death and then his time on that stupid ship. They had grown apart and Tony didn't like it, so he made a plan. Tonight he would bring a movie over to her place, tonight he would find out what was haunting her and tonight he would fix it.

The elevator doors opened, Ziva and Tony keeping the stony, angst filled silence that had taken up most of the ride.

"Ziva, I need to talk to you. My office now." Gibbs said, not grumpily like he usually did but with a sadness in his eyes she couldn't place.

Once they were both in, the emergency stop firmly in place. One of these days that elevator was going to crack a hissy fit and stop working and then Gibbs would be in trouble from the Director. Maybe she would film it and put it on YouTube she thought with a grin. At least Tony would get a kick out of it.

"What are you going to do when she has to go?" He asked. His expression serious but caring.

No. She didn't want to deal with this right now. She didn't want to deal with it ever. Sur she had finally come to terms with letting Kiara go but she didn't want to think about what she'd become with Kiara. How could someone change her life so much in only two days?

"Ziva?" He asked again sternly, and then he gave her the look. Not the 'Gibbs stare' that they often got when they were in trouble but the one that seemed to say 'I know what's going on inside your head, I know how your feeling.' It was that look that nearly made her break down. But she didn't. Only one tear slipped past her barriers and down her face, falling to her cheek then landing on the collar of her shirt.

"Don't do this to me Gibbs." She warned, bringing her gaze back up to his steel blue eyes.

They searched hers.

Caring like Tony's, but she knew Tony could see more. It wasn't because he was a better reader of people, it was the opposite actually. But Tony was her partner. He knew her better than anyone else. He was the only one who could climb her tall brick walls but he could only see the beautiful crumbling mansion inside never enter it. Maybe no one ever would. Except Kiara. Her light had let her skip right through Ziva's strong walls but she and her light had to go. The mansion would be empty again.

"You will never forget her." Gibbs said, a tinge of sadness lacing his words before flicking the emergency switch, making the elevator move again.

He put a comforting hand on Ziva's shoulder, giving it a squeeze but she remained staring straight ahead. She would survive, she didn't need his help. She would survive.

When they left the elevator Gibbs turned towards the interrogation rooms.

"I thought he confessed on scene?" Ziva asked.

"He did." Gibbs was never one for words. "And now we're making sure."  
"Can I interrogate him?" Ziva asked enthusiastically. She didn't know who she wanted to hurt more, Kiara's mother who put the girl on the streets in the first place or the killer who left Kiara there alone to die. Her mother was dead so this guy would have to do.

"No, I want him alive."

Ziva was still fuming when she walked into the observation room but when she saw who was in there she nearly walked out again. God, couldn't she go anywhere without Tony standing right next to her. Why couldn't McGee be here, he'd be too scared to ask how she was and that's what she wanted right now. She didn't want people asking what was wrong, trying to fix her life. Like Tony was.

"So Zeevah." He said annoyingly, his voice grating against Ziva's ears, sometimes she just wished he knew how to shut up. "Gibbs wouldn't let you interrogate the guy?"

"_Shecket Bevakesha!"_

"Uh oh, I'm trouble now!" He joked again. She was starting to get really pissed off with him. When she wanted him to be stupid, he was serious and when she wanted him to be serious he was stupid!

"Just leave me alone Tony." She whispered, showing more emotion in her words than she wanted to. She didn't want Tony to think she was weak. She wasn't weak, so why couldn't she stop herself from breaking apart?

The two stood in stony silence for the whole interrogation. Ziva was so confused. She wanted Tony to shut up so much before but now he was silent she desperately wanted him to talk. She wanted him to crack a joke and break the awkward, tension filled silence that consumed so many of their meetings, she wanted noise but at the same time she wanted that enveloping silence that had filled her when they were dancing to _Innocence. _She wanted silence but noise. She wanted distance but closeness. Boy was she stuffed up at the moment.

"Look, I didn't now she had a daughter!" The guy yelled, cracking at Gibbs silent, angry stare.

"We didn't tell you that she had a daughter, Mr. Milton." She said, looking up the guys name on his profile and even from the observation room Tony and Ziva could feel the anger radiating from their boss.

"Fine! I heard her crying after…after I killed Marie. I had a look. Look I didn't know the slut had a daughter! She had ripped me off too many times, I didn't care what happened to the kid." She said, yelling as loud as he could, every word cutting into Ziva like a knife. She only had one thought running through her head, _I want to kill him._

"KIARA!" Gibbs yelled back. "The little girl you left to die! A four year old girl you left to take care of herself on the streets!"

"She's dead?" Milton asked, a brief wave of sadness passing over his face. The nerve, Ziva thought. He leaves her there to die then feels sorry for her? Now she really wanted to kill him.

Gibbs didn't answer him, juts looked at him. Let him feel guilty. Let the guilt eat at him while he spends the rest of his life in prison. Let it stay with him until he dies.

Gibbs walked out, nodding his head for Ziva and Tony to follow him.

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_Jules. _


	6. Chapter 6

A.N. Okay, I've done it again. But I was writing it and it just seemed to end so well. So this is the end of the case and the Kiara but there will be (hopefully) one more chapter about Ziva and how her story ends so I'll try and get that out as soon as possible. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I was crying while I wrote it so I hope for a similar reaction from everyone else, maybe not crying but I hope the whole sad feel of the chapter comes across. Thats write- it's a sad chapter. Again. Okay I'll shut up now- heres the next chapter.

Disclaimer- Only Kiara.

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"I've called Social Services to come pick up Kiara." Gibbs told his team but his eyes were boring into Ziva's, making sure she didn't fall apart. But he knew she wouldn't. It would be tonight she would break down, away from everyone, away from everyone who could help.

"They'll be here in ten minutes, say your goodbyes then go home." Tony was looking at his boss. It was strange, he looked physically tired. Sure the case had hit everyone hard, especially Ziva who he saw had her Mossad face on, not letting anyone see what she was really feeling. But he hadn't seen Gibbs look like this for a long time, he was worried for Ziva. Tony could see it in his constant glances, the way his eyes bored into Ziva's head like if he stared hard enough, he'd be able to see inside it.

They were a family. Gibbs, Ducky, Abby, McGee, even Palmer, him and Ziva. And one of their family was hurting so they all were.

The elevator dinged and out came Abby, a huge smile on her face and if it was possible and even bigger one on Kiara's.

"We finished the movie Ziva! It was scary, there was a monster but he was nice and the monster was really the other man. He stabbed the beast." Kiara's eyes were excited but scared. Did it bring back memories of her mother getting killed in front of her? Kiara tried to figure out why Ziva was looking sad. Didn't she hear her? She wanted to talk about the movie but Ziva wasn't even looking at her. She looked kind of mad. Had she done something wrong?

"Ziva?" Kiara asked, her voice returning to the hushed, almost whisper it was when Ziva was the only person she'd talk to. Then Ziva broke down. One tear slipped down her face, followed by more and soon Kiara was crying too. Ultimately she knew that she'd have to go. It looked like now was the time.

Ziva leant down and pulled Kiara into a crushing hug, like she would never let go, and maybe she wouldn't. Would Social Services take her if Ziva was still attached to her?

The pair stood in the middle of the bull-pen, tears running down not only their face, but Abby's, McGee's, Tony's and even Gibbs's eyes were watering. This little girl had brought light to their dysfunctional family and now she had to go.

Kiara held onto Ziva tightly, hiding her face in Ziva's shoulder, feeling Ziva's body shake from her sobbing. Or was it hers? It was hard to tell the difference. After five minutes of the two girls holding onto each other Ziva pulled away, her tears finally stopping, her face back to the emotionless mask that scared everyone. They wanted her to feel, even if the feelings were bad. It was better to feel than to lock it all up inside. The elevator dinged again but this time there were no smiling people inside, only one woman who looked like she was in her late forties.

"Kiara?" She asked, walking over to the little girl who tried to hide behind Ziva and Abby. The woman wanted to take her away from Ziva. She didn't want to go, so she held on tightly to Ziva, saying to herself over and over again that she wasn't going to let go ever, that this lady couldn't take her away from her Ziva.

"Would you like to come with me?" The lady said soothingly but Kiara didn't budge from behind Ziva, hiding her face from the stranger with heart breaking fervour.

When Ziva turned around and picked up Kiara and handed her to the Social Services worker Kiara face nearly made her hit herself. Despair. Ziva was her last hope and she had just given her away.

But she could still do one thing. Twisting out of the lady's grasp she sprinted behind Ziva's desk, screaming and crying the whole way, squeezing herself right into the corner, her little legs wouldn't be able to run away fast enough but she could still hide.

"Kiara," Ziva's comforting voice came from next to her, under the desk. "You have to go _Perach Katan._ I don't want you to but you have to promise me you'll go. It'll be better in the long run. I promise."

Kiara didn't answer, just stared at Ziva, tears still falling out of her eyes, but at least the body wrenching sobs had stopped. All that was left was emptiness.

Why? She asked with her eyes.

"I'll come and visit you, I'm sure you'll like it where you're going and I wish I could go with you but I can't so you're going to have to be brave and do this by yourself. Can you be brave for me?" Ziva asked the little girl before putting her hand out for Kiara to grab hold of and together they came out of the desk.

Tears still ran down Abby's face and Kiara silently walked towards the Social Services lady.

"We'll take good care of her Ma'am." The lady said but Ziva didn't hear her, all she could focus on was Kiara's tiny face and large brown eyes. For the last time she knelt down to the little girl's level.

"I love you _Perach Katan._"

"I love you too Ziva."

Kiara grabbed her in a hug for a few seconds before pulling away and standing next to the lady taking her away. She didn't hold the lady's hand at all as they walked to the elevator. It would take a while for the little girl to trust anyone again but at least she was learning.

Just as she was about to walk in she called out.

"Ziva! What does it mean?" Her little voice cut across everyone's talking and the whole office fell silent. They had all heard the crying and screaming and wanted to know more.

Ziva looked at the tiny girl. She looked even smaller next to the tall lady next to her. The tears she refused to cry were choking her but she cleared her throat enough to call across the room.

"Little flower, love. It means little flower."

And then the elevator dinged and the strongest light in Ziva's world was extinguished.


	7. Chapter 7

A.N. Not much to say other than The End. Yes this is actually the last chapter. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed and thanks to everyone who I've ranted to about how I have writers block and how I'm stuck and that type of stuff.

Disclaimer: I only own Kiara. But I guess she's gone now : (

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Ziva didn't know what to do with herself. Gibb's had forced her to go home, not letting any of his team stay at the office but Ziva would have been better with something to do because now all that she could think about was Kiara. The face she had given Ziva when she handed her to the Social Services lady. Despair, she made her little girl feel despair. All the grief was building and she finally pulled herself up from the couch where she had been sitting since she got home and changed into clothes she could run in. Sometimes it was better if she couldn't feel.

She opened the front door and ran straight into someone. Tony. She didn't want to see Tony; she didn't want to see anyone, only Kiara. Only Kiara. She pushed past him, ignoring his calls of Ziva and just as she was about to leave her yard, she was grabbed by her wrist and without thinking she turned around and flipped Tony over so he landed with a bang on his back, his arm held painfully over his head. Oops. She really needed to not feel right now. Why didn't he let her run?

"Sorry Tony." She said in a dead voice, letting his arm go once she realised what she had done to her friend, walking inside knowing full well that Tony would follow. Maybe he could help, maybe he could help take the emptiness away. Running had put her on auto-pilot. She was dangerous on auto-pilot. Especially when her head was in such a mess.

Tony knew that now wasn't the time to joke. He knew that at this moment he needed to be the best friend he was and just comfort her, hold her, fix her. He walked over and sat down on the couch where they had been eating pizza without a care the night before. Was it only a night ago? It felt like a lifetime.

He reached out and moved her head gently so she was staring right at him.  
"Ziva."  
That was all it took. She completely broke down sobbing almost hysterically into his jacket. One part of him was glad that she could trust him enough to show this side of her, the side that was stuffed up beyond recognition, the side of her she usually kept locked up; but the other half of him was devastatingly sad that she was feeling this screwed up that she would break down in front of him. Ziva didn't break down in front of anyone. But this case had hit home. Tali, Kiara. The line was blurred in Ziva's head; they were both so much alike and no matter how hard she tried, no matter how many times she screamed in her head that it was weak, she couldn't stop crying. Couldn't stop breaking.

It wasn't very often that Tony shut up and let people cry but for Ziva he would. He would do anything for Ziva. Especially when she was hurting like this. He held her until she finally stopped crying, asleep. So exhausted from all the events from the past few days and from sleepless nights from the past few years.

Tony carefully carried her into her bedroom, laying her down on top of the covers, trying his best not to wake her but she did anyway. It was proof at how tired she was that she only woke up as he laid her down.

"Goodnight Ziva." He whispered from the door. The darkness making him unable to see her clearly, only a dark shape entangled in a mass of quilt.

"Stay." She whispered. So quiet Tony wasn't sure if she had actually said it. "Please stay."

There was no denying it now, and there was no way he could say no while her voice and heart were breaking like this; so he pulled off his shoes and crawled in next to her, stroking her hair like he had while she was crying. He knew this would never happen again and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a really, really bad thing. All he knew was that at the moment, with Ziva in his arms he felt right. He felt warm and happy in a way one-night stands couldn't replace and breathing in the smell of her hair which fanned behind her, slightly tickling his face but he didn't mind. Tonight wasn't about him, it was about Ziva and being the partner and friend she needed. Being Tony the way she needed.

She was back on the roof-top. She saw Ari, she couldn't stop him. Bang. One.  
She was in Israel, watching Ari kill her mother, watching her get beaten over and over. Bang. Two.  
She was in the main shopping street of Israel watching her sister get blown up in slow motion. Bang. Three.  
She was in Abby's lab trying to pull Ari away. Bang. Four.  
She was at her front door, getting McGee to move, not quickly enough though. Bang. Five.  
She was in Autopsy trying to warn Ducky and Palmer. Bang. Six. Bang. Seven.  
She was in her favourite car, a red mini with Jenny, trying to yell and tell her. Bang. Eight.  
She was in her lounge room, watching James Bond. Screaming, not at the movie but because she had seen this before she knew what was going to happen. Bang. Nine. She leant over; trying to mop up the blood, cover the hole but failing then grabbing hold of Tony, pulling herself impossibly close to his lifeless form. Then he came alive, leaning over her, the blood from the hole in his head dripping sickeningly onto her face.

"Look Ziva, I'm okay, I'm fine. Shh. Calm down, it's all okay."

And then she wasn't in her lounge room but her bedroom and Tony's head no longer had a hole in it, there were no bloodstains clouding her eyes.

"It's okay Ziva." He whispered, rubbing her back. "It was just a dream, I'm here now. It's okay."

She sat up straight. Sweat covered her body and she had been moaning and mumbling through the dream but she didn't scream and she didn't wake up yelling everyone's names or hating herself for letting them all die. Tony couldn't take away the nightmares, no one could. But he could make them better; he could slowly pull her out of the water she was drowning in.

-

Tony was woken from a peaceful sleep by a loud buzzing noise. He reached over to turn off his alarm but his arm hit something else.

"OW!" Oh yeah, Ziva. He had forgotten for a split second but now it hot him with full force. He had known from stake-outs, undercover missions and their old movie nights that she was a restless sleeper but last night had scared him. She had started just moving around, Tony didn't realise anything was wrong. When she started whimpering he started to worry and picked up stroking her hair, hoping it would calm her down but it didn't. Once she started talking and nearly crying, he sat up and pulled her into her lap, rubbing her back and murmuring comforting words to her but that only seemed to make her worse. He was about to wake her up quickly when she did so herself her eyes wide and frightened like she was expecting someone else above her, not Tony. Little did he know it was exactly the opposite. After that it had taken her a bit to get to sleep but Tony waited until he was sure Ziva wouldn't wake up like she did before he went to sleep. At least she hadn't been screaming like Kiara had said she heard. He didn't know if he'd be able to cope seeing her so scared.

He had found the one thing Ziva was scared of. Her memories.

He picked up the buzzing phone knowing who it would be.

"Hello?" He answered.

"DiNozzo. Get your ass to the office, if given you a bit of time but you have filing to do." Gibbs's voice was tired but not as much as yesterday. Everyone was slowly mending themselves. "Tell Ziva she doesn't have to come in until 12:00."

"How did you know I was with her Boss?" Tony asked, surprise evident in his voice, even over the phone.

"If it was my partner I'd be there too. I want you here at 0930 at the latest. Make sure you're not late." And with that he hung up.

"What did Gibbs want?" A sleepy voice asked from next to Tony.

"Nothing from you until 12:00. Go back to sleep for a few hours, make sure you're not late or Gibbs will have my head."

She let out a sleepy chuckle before rolling over a going back to sleep. Hopefully one without the terrifying nightmares.

-

"Ahh, Sleeping Beauty finally arrives!" Tony joked as Ziva walked into the bull-pen looking as sleepy as she had that morning. Maybe she hadn't gotten any more sleep after all of that.

She looked up at him for a brief second a ghost of a smile on her face but then she dropped her eyes and continued on to her desk.

"How are you holding up Ziva?" Gibbs asked, leaning down so his blue eyes were level with her brown ones.

She didn't have to answer, he could see the craziness in her eyes and the dark circles under them but the smile she gave him contradicted all of that.

"I'll get there Gibbs." Was her reply. Maybe she was going to be okay after all. He was also going to have to talk her and DiNozzo about rule number 12 but for now she needed to heal and Tony was the only one who could do that.

Ziva went about doing her paperwork on auto-pilot. Tuning out everything around, her eyes and shoulders sore from sitting at the computer for too long. She was trying to find a runaway piece of paper when she fell upon something.

It was a picture, carefully drawn in coloured pencil. It showed two people standing under a blue sky with a big yellow sun and next to a tree and a bush. The two people had big smiles on their faces and they were holding hands and above them were two words in bright purple childish script that Ziva knew she would never forget.

_Kiara Ziva_


	8. Chapter 8

A.N. Okay, I know, stupid idea. Starting a sequel/part 2 thing is bad for me because I get really bad at updating the longer it is so I'm counting on you guys to review and make me keep on writing. This was going to be a new story but then I realised it would be easier to do in here because lots of people have it on alert so anyway- this chapter is about Ziva coming to terms with Kiara and her new family, so it might suck and if it does, please review and tell me and I will get rid of it. So now, on with the story...

Disclaimer- I only own Kiara :D

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The apartment was filled with the sound of her loud snores combining with his slightly quieter ones, so frequent it was a wonder either of them could sleep but then one set of snores stopped and only slightly less loud snores filled the room but only for a few seconds.

Tony didn't know when it had become harder to sleep through silence than his partners insanely loud snores but he was pretty sure it was soon after he had realised that Ziva stopped snoring for only two reasons. One, she had woken up and two, she was having a nightmare.

They had had this thing going on for months now. Once a week Ziva would go over to Tony's after work. They'd go for a run and they'd keep on running until one of them gave up. The one who gave up made or paid for dinner and the winner picked the movie. When they first started Ziva had won nearly every time but now they were pretty much even.

And once a week Tony would go over to Ziva's and they'd do the same thing.

Ever since the night after Kiara left they would stay at the other person's house for the night because although she didn't like to admit, having Tony with her made the terrifying nightmares that plagued her nearly every night, that much easier to bear.

"Ziva," Tony whispered in the now silent room. "Are you okay?" He was shaking her slightly now, not wanting her to wake up screaming like she had last night. He hated seeing his tough partner so vulnerable so he pulled her closer so her back was right against his chest and soon enough, her snores started up again, calming Tony and letting him go to sleep peacefully.

-

When she woke up she would realise that dreaming this would end up stuffing her up even more but right now she was relishing in the feeling of them close to her, hearing the high pitched voice of Kiara's mix through the deeper and warmer voice of Tali, the two of them sitting together, radiant smiles on both their faces, so big and infectious that Ziva couldn't keep one off her own face as she watched two people she loved playing in the sun. She could tell she was going to wake up soon so she absorbed as much of the scene as she could in those last few moments and just as Kiara and Tali turned to look at her, their brown eyes identical she felt the dream slip away, the warm sun slip away leaving only the warmth along her back from where Tony was hugging himself to her. She relished in that warmth for a few minutes before she slipped out of the bed, grabbing her running shorts and sports bra, getting changed in her bathroom then grabbing her shoes and a water bottle and slipping out the door, leaving Tony asleep in her bed.

The cold morning air hit her face as she ran, wiping all thoughts from her head and making her run twice as hard to feel the sticky warmth that her runs provided in summer. After a few minutes she felt the burn start deep in her chest and for a few minutes she battled with it but this morning she won and had pushed past the pain barrier, increasing her pace until she could feel the sweat on her body and the ground banging repetitively beneath her feet.

She could feel the muscles in her legs and stomach working but she knew that her breathing would fail before her muscles would and after shaving nearly a minute off her time she collapsed on the grass, feeling the dirt stick to her sweaty skin and the slight drops of rain that were almost non-existent hit her face, starting to cool her down.

She listened to the faint sound of traffic and the even fainter sound of birds in the early morning and she stayed lying on the ground for longer than she would have usually, her senses heightened, listening, smelling, seeing and feeling things she hadn't in a long time.

-

He was running along his usual path when he saw someone lying off to the side. His agent side taking over, he immediately went on alert, running over to the body ready to check a pulse but had to shake his head and regroup when he got closer and realised the body was actually Ziva.

"What are you doing Tony?"

He was momentarily stunned at the question. What was he doing? What about what she was doing? She was lying off to the side of his running path, and probably hers too, in the rain and in nothing but shorts and a bra, her dark curly hair plastered to her face by the rain that had built up to a steady pour since he left Ziva's house.

He saw Roy's bright orange beanie beside her and for some reason he was struck with the realisation of why Ziva always had the nightmares.

She couldn't let go.

She was holding onto any piece of the people she had lost, holding on tight and unable to let go. The dreams, as much as she hated and feared them, let her remember the people she had lost. He knew about Tali but how many others wandered through her dreams at night? How many people was she holding on to?

"Going for a run, what about you? You'll get sick if you lie here too long."

She just smiled at him, raindrops running down her cheeks onto the wet ground. She was in a strange mood. Not happy or sad. Not angry or depressed, just…there. Her smile lingered for a few moments but was then blown away, replaced by the serene look she wore before.

"Come on Tony, we had better get back. If we are late, Gibbs will have our head," she said, jumping up, suddenly full of energy and ready to race an exhausted Tony.

He winced at the thought of a slap before grabbing Ziva's hand and getting up then sprinting back to her house.

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Short I know but I wanted to post it and see what people thought and if it was worth continuing or if everyones going- umm you can stop there. Anyway, PLEEEASE review :D And I'll try and get the next chapter out soon. (For people who have read Love is what makes you smile when you're tired I will write the occasional thing when it crosses my mind but there wont be regular updates.)

:) Jules.


	9. Chapter 9

A.N. Yay! I got a chapter out relatively soon. Thanks to everyone who reviews last chapter!! You all encouraged me to get this one out as soon as I could think of it. Now I'm still kind of fluking this so if you have any ideas they would be greatly appreciated. On with the chapter...

Disclaimer- I don't own Ziva or any of the other NCIS crew but I do own Kiara and Emily.

This is the new 'edited' version because I was reading it and realised how many mistakes I made and I couldn't stand it so this should be better!

I'm sorry if this chapter is confusing, it changed perspective a few times but I think (I hope) I made it as little confusing as possible.

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"Gibbs?" Ziva asked hesitantly. He wasn't in the best of moods (big shock there) and their lateness, even though it had only been five minutes had made him rather grumpy. Well, grumpier than usual.

"Would I be able to leave early?"

Gibbs looked up at her, his piercing blue eyes trying to read her but she purposely kept her face blank.

"Why?" he asked after a few minutes of scrutinising her.

Ziva sighed; she should have known she wouldn't get out of telling Gibbs the reason she wanted to leave so instead of escalating it into a massive fight which would only make him grumpier she simply told him.

"It's Kiara's first day of school, I wanted to be there when she finishes."

It was the same scrutiny all over again, she could practically see the questions in his clear blue eyes. Was she okay? Was she still seeing the girl? Could she let go? Would she be able to cope letting go? Had she let go?

Ziva tore her eyes away from his stare, walking back to her desk and asking Gibbs, "So yes or no?"

She could feel his gaze on her, watching her but she stared stubbornly at the computer, not meeting his or Tony and McGee's curious gazes.

"Yes."

-

Ziva waited awkwardly in the car park of the primary school with other people, presumably parents. She tried to block the thought from her head but she couldn't help but wonder which of the adults standing around were Kiara's new family. The little girl had drawn a picture of her parents and brother for her with their names above them like the picture of her and Kiara but Ziva noticed with twisted satisfaction that the smiles on the people weren't nearly as big and none of them were holding hands. It made Ziva feel worse about letting Kiara go and that was why she promised, to both Kiara and herself, to surprise her after her first day.

The loud bell signalling the end of the day shook Ziva from her thoughts and she waited with almost painful anticipation to see the face she hadn't seen for months except in her dreams.

She scanned the crowds of adults for the familiar faces of her family. She called her dad, Daddy as she had never had someone to play that role in her life but as for Emily, she couldn't call her Mummy, not yet. Not while the image of her real Mummy being killed was so fresh in her memory.

She saw Emily and Daddy standing together, Chriis already standing with them, his schoolbag on the ground next to him. She smiled at their familiar faces and started to walk towards them, her tiny schoolbag feeling heavy as it hung low on her shoulders. As she was walking and making sure she didn't trip over anything, she saw something that caught her eye. A person, a familiar person, standing away from everyone else, looking at the kids coming out of the school gates.

_Ziva_

"Ziva!" she yelled out loud, changing her path from her family to her friend, smiling as the agent looked down and met her eye.

"Ziva," Kiara said again, jumping into her arms and clinging on tightly. It felt like forever since she had seen her and her warm, dark eyes were comforting after everything changing and she simply stared into them, talking to her like she had all those months back and NCIS, talking with her eyes.

"I've missed you _Perach Katan,"_ Ziva said to the little girl in her arms, the name rolling off her tongue easily. "I've missed you so much."

She had heard about Ziva. Kiara would be drawing and she'd come up and ask what she was doing, only to be given the reply, "It's for Ziva."

She had always thought Ziva was the little girl's imaginary friend, her way of coping with the death of her mother and then the adoption and Kiara never told her otherwise, always replying to her question of who's Ziva with, "she's my friend." But she watched her today as she walked out of her first day of school, heading right towards her, Jackson and Chriis before looking around and seemingly seeing someone and running towards them, yelling. That wasn't the Kiara she knew. Whenever she was around her she was always so quiet for a five year old. Speaking only when asked a direct question and preferring to spend time drawing than with the rest of the family.

As she ran towards the mystery person, she followed the little girl with her eyes. Kiara yelled 'Ziva' then disappeared behind another group of people.

She really wanted to meet this Ziva, seeing as Kiara seemed to know her so well. Following her new daughter she saw her jump into the arms of a strange woman. She looked about twenty from where she was standing and had long, dark hair with dark skin and matching dark eyes. She was wearing cargo pants and a purple skivvy and a giant smile on her face. She couldn't help but be jealous of this 'Ziva'. She didn't know what they shared in the past but Kiara was looking at her like she never looked at her new mother and Ziva was looking at her the same way. As she walked towards the happy pair she wondered what had made them so close.

"Hello, I'm Emily; you must be Ziva, Kiara's spoken of you." As soon as Emily addressed the younger woman though, her face closed over and the smile disappeared, leaving behind a blank, emotionless look that was very intimidating. It was only then that Emily noticed the gun attached to the woman's hip and how her cargos were dirty and threadbare and her combat boots, yes combat boots, were scuffed and just as dirty.

"Ziva David." She had an accent, Spanish maybe; Emily had never been good at recognising accents, maybe Middle Eastern. Ziva held out her hand, waiting not so patiently as Emily stared at it, thinking deeply about something it seemed. Finally Kiara's adoption mother looked back at her face, smiled a tight lipped smile and shook her hand, her eyes flicking from her face to the gun not so well hidden on her waist. Kiara was still one of her arms so she slowly placed her on the ground, picking up her little schoolbag and holding it for her.

"Okay, and where are you from?" Ziva felt like growling but she knew that wouldn't help the situation. Just because she had an accent and it wasn't even strong anymore, meant that people had to ask about it in the second question they asked.

"Israel. You must be Kiara's guardian," Ziva said stiffly, knowing even now that she didn't like the woman, she couldn't stop looking at her gun, THERE WAS A BADGE THERE, COULDN"T SHE SEE THAT? And the way the woman's face changed when she said Israel, like she was going to suddenly jump out shooting people.

"Yes. How do you know Kiara, Ziva?" Her voice was soft and high, completely the opposite of Ziva's. Kiara was looking at Ziva, waiting for the answer she was going to give to Emily's question. When she didn't answer, just glared at her, Kiara decided to answer herself.

"Ziva saved me."

The look on Ziva's face made the older woman relax slightly. As tough as this woman looked, she loved Kiara, Emily could tell this after barely a minute with them both. The really bad thing was this woman saved Kiara yet she was jealous. She wanted Kiara to love her like she loved Ziva but by the looks of things that would never be the case.

"I have to get back to work _Perach Katan,_ here's my number, call and tell me all about school okay?" Ziva murmured to Kiara, passing her a small piece of paper before kissing her gently on the forehead then standing up and addressing Emily. "It's okay if Kiara calls, yes?" The way she said it made it sound like a statement not a question and Emily nodded, smiling at Ziva as she walked away. Kiara stood with Emily, her face the sad, lost mask it was usually, waving at the back of Ziva David.

Emily let out a large breath. Boy, she was one hell of a woman.

Ziva was nearly shaking as she walked away. She didn't like the woman. She was soft. There had been no hardships in her life and so she hadn't been able to toughen up as a result. Would she be a good mother to Kiara? Probably for the first few years but what about when Kiara needed someone strong to help her? Kiara would be great; Ziva knew that, the events in the last few months proved that Kiara would be strong. She just hoped that Emily would be able to support her and teach her to be as strong as she could be. She just wished she was in Emily's position. She just wished she could care for Kiara. She wished it was just Kiara and her.

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_Please review with thoughts and ideas and I'll try and get the next chapter out soon, Jules._


	10. Chapter 10

A.N. I know this is a short chapter and I know it has been ages since I've last updated but there is a proper excuse. The main one is my mum went apo at me and took away the power cord for my computer and so I last half the chapter and couldn't write more until I got the cord back and then I got sick again. It was the same sick as last time and I'm still sick and that's why the chapter is shorter because my brain doesn't work and I write or do anything. Which really sucks but I thought this little bit would be better than none. Hope you like it =)

Disclaimer- I don't own any recognisable characters.

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-How do you know Kiara, Ziva?-

-You know Kiara, Ziva-

-Kiara. Ziva-

-Ziva-

-Ziva-

Her words were going around in Ziva's head and no matter how she tried she couldn't get them out. Ziva didn't know why she didn't like her. She was an average person, a normal person and just because Ziva had forgotten what it was like to be normal, didn't mean Kiara couldn't grow up with someone normal as a mother.

After hours of convincing herself that Kiara would be fine, she sat down at her piano, not trusting her thoughts to disappear with a run like they would when she played the piano.

She shut her eyes and placed her fingers on the cool keys. It had been ages since she had played and she felt her body responding to the familiar position of her hands before she took a big breath in and played a song she thought she had forgotten. Her fingers danced across the keys, making a beautiful sound but not as beautiful as the last time she had played this song. That had been on a huge stage on the most beautiful grand piano and her old upright that was in her apartment could never compete with the sound of the rich, warm notes flying into the crowd who had been deadly silent until the end when the whole theatre erupted with applause and cheering.

Ziva remembered that feeling of pride as she played now but with that feeling of pride came the feeling of despair. The one that she felt every time she scanned the masses of people clapping for her father and found he hadn't showed up yet again.

She could feel the despair sinking into her playing as it got louder and louder and she finally opened her eyes to look at the way her hands were moving. Playing the piano was like riding a bike, Ziva thought. You never forgot. The song slowed down, nearing a finish and she breathed out deeply as she played the final chord, the apartment suddenly sounding so silent once her foot was off the pedal.

_BANG BANG BANG_

The loud knocks on her door startled her and she jumped up in surprise, her hand instantly resting on the gun at her hip.

She walked up to it quickly, looking through the eyehole at who would be dropping by at 11:30 at night. Of course, if she thought about it she would know. Only Tony would drop by at a time she wanted to be alone, at 11:30 and on a Monday. She grumbled a bit, not a lot because deep down she did want him there, on some level he knew how much she loved Kiara as he had been captured by her smile too. Maybe he could help her forget Emily's words that were floating around her head.

"What are you doing here Tony. Tuesday is movie night, not today." She said tiredly, her emotionally hard day catching up with her and making her sleepier than usual.

Tony was silent for a few minutes. He knew he had two options. Option one-the truth. He could tell her he was worried about how she went seeing Kiara and how he was even more worried about what had happened last night. He could tell she was dreaming as her loud snoring had stopped but there was something different about it. She had seemed calm, not worried or in pain like she usually did but now she looked pained more than usual and even though she was trying hard to not show it he could see the crazy look back in her eyes, the tormented expression that he had thought was finally gone.

And then there was option two-lie.

"I found a new movie! It looked so good and so I thought if you weren't doing anything we could watch it," he said brightly, covering up for the few seconds he was silent, hoping that Ziva would let him in. He wouldn't talk to her about it; they didn't talk about important things but maybe he could lessen the pain in her eyes and the stress in her hunched shoulders.

The phone ringing broke the silence and Ziva turned around to answer it and without a moment's hesitation, Tony followed her into her apartment.

"David." Ziva answered the phone as Tony sat down on her couch, pulling out the movie and a large packet of chilli chips.

"Shalom Perach Katan." Her voice was warmer now, and he could tell there was a smile on her face without looking over where she sat with the phone cradled to her ear.

Tony could only hear one side of the conversation but from what it sounded like Kiara was telling Ziva about her day at school; her first day if he remembered correctly. He pushed up from the couch; walking quietly over to Ziva and sitting down beside her, putting his head close enough to hers to hear the small voice of Kiara through the phone.

"Hey Kiddo!"

"Tony?" her small voice questioned from the receiver.

"The one and only."

She giggled and Tony looked over at Ziva and saw the smile that was slowly going down light up again. Was that all it took to make her smile? Tony vowed that he would make her smile at least five more times that night.

"How was school?" Tony asked gently, looking not at the receiver where Kiara's voice had been put on loudspeaker but watching Ziva's reaction.

"It was fun! Our teacher is Ms. Hamilton," she replied, stumbling over the new name unsurely. Ziva smiled again and pulled the receiver a bit closer to her mouth.

"Did you make any friends _Metuka_?"

"Not really, but I don't need more friends coz I've got you and Tony."

Tony saw Ziva gulp as if she was holding back tears so he reached beside him and pulled her into a hug, her chin resting on his shoulder. Her shoulders were shaking but there were no tears on her face; she took a moment to calm herself and then with Tony's arms still wrapped around her, she talked to Kiara.

"I love you Perach Katan but you've got to make friends your own age; otherwise you'll be missing out on so much. What about birthday parties? And playing on the playground at school? And someone to help with homework? And having a best friend?" Her voice wobbled at the end and Tony squeezed her gently, stroking her hair until she flicked his hand away. She didn't want to appear weak. Tony grumbled, was she so proud that she couldn't accept any signs of affection or help? Even though they had been together most nights after work she was still distanced from him and everyone else who had been helping through the whole Kiara fiasco. Couldn't she swallow her pride for one moment and let him help her?

"But you're my best friend Ziva."

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_Hope you enjoyed it, PLEASE review _:)_ Jules._


	11. Chapter 11

A.N. Okay, I know I haven't updated in ages but I hope this chapter makes up for it. I haven't really edited it or read it through but you know those chapters that you just write in one hour and everything seems to flow? Well that was this chapter so I hope it's okay, please review! It will make the next chapter come out quicker :)

Disclaimer: Only Kiara.

* * *

The words going through Ziva's mind changed. Instead of Emily's voice, 'How do you know Kiara, Ziva?', she had Kiara's smaller voice swirling around and around in her mind. 'You're my best friend Ziva."

Best friend.

She wanted more than anything to be Kiara's best friend a few hours ago, wanted the little girl to love her as much as possible but now that she had said it, Ziva was worrying. If she was Kiara's best friend how would the girl grow up? Ziva was very independent but even when she was young she relied on her friends to make her happy and keep her strong. She remembered her best friend from school. Naomi. As much as Ziva wanted to think she was strong enough she had lost count of the times Naomi had helped her through things, even if it was just with a hug. She remembered how she would always come over after school and they would do homework together, Ziva helping Naomi with math and Naomi helping Ziva with English.

She remembered everything, when Ziva got into fights and Naomi would always be there to bandage her up after so her father wouldn't find out and how they would pass notes in class with their own secret language so no one could read them. Would Kiara miss out on all that if the person she really wanted was Ziva?

Could Ziva be with her when she needed? She knew the answer to that, no. She couldn't hang out with her at school and make sure no one picked on her, she couldn't help her with her homework while listening to pop music and eating skittles and she couldn't be there when Kiara needed her most. When her world would seem upside down and like it was trying to push at her from every direction. She couldn't just leave work and go and comfort her as much as she wanted to and the biggest question was what happened when she was sent back to Israel? As much as she tried to pretend otherwise, she knew she couldn't stay here forever and she knew it was only a matter of time until her father got sick of missions taking longer than needed without her there and called her back.

She didn't know if she would be able to cope. The nightmares were bad here, but what about when she moved back to Israel, she wouldn't have Tony to comfort her, she wouldn't be able to go to work early just to see that everyone was okay, she couldn't make sure they were still alive. She was just thinking about leaving everyone, Gibbs, McGee, Abby, Ducky, Tony. She started to panic, her breathing hitched in her throat and her eyes stung with the tears she wouldn't cry. Kiara, Tony. What would she do without them?

She was pulled from her thoughts by Kiara's voice in the receiver she clutched desperately in her hand, her knuckles white from the grip.

"Emily says I have to go to bed," the little girl stated grumpily. "Can I call you tomorrow too?" Ziva was going to say to check with Emily first but then she felt the stab of anger at the woman and decided to be petty.

"Of course you can call Perach Katan; we can talk as long as you want."

"Cool! Bye Ziva, bye Tony." The was a brief scuffle then the phone was beeping out a dial tone and Ziva came face to face with Tony. Damnit, she had been hoping to put off the 'talk' he would certainly want to have.

"Are you okay Ziva?" he asked, his voice low and quiet. She knew it was wrong when she thought of it but by the time her brain had caught up with her actions her lips were already hard against Tony's, her hands pulling herself closer to him hoping she could just stop the flow of thoughts in her head. Tony was stunned, not moving for a few seconds before responding in a way she couldn't imagine. His lips were soft against hers and she thought it might finally stop the relentless flow of words going around and around in her head when his large hands grabbed her cheek and slowly but surely pushed her face away from his.

"Ziva, you know this isn't right," he said sternly, his green eyes dark in the feeble light of her apartment. "You'll regret it in the morning and it will stuff up things at work and Gibbs will kill me!" he listed, his eyes getting more and more worried as he went on but Ziva was past reason, she needed this and she didn't care what would happen as a result. She would tell Gibbs it was her fault so he went easy on Tony but she needed this right now and Tony was the only one who could help her.

"Please Tony." Her eyes and tone were pleading and she didn't care that she was begging anymore, she didn't care about anything, only the words that were being yelled in her head and the hope that she soon might get them to go away, if only for a little while.

"I need this Tony. Please."

Tony met her steady gaze and suddenly his lips were on hers and she pushed back with fervour, her hands filled with his short hair and her head filled with the feel of him instead of the loud words. Finally, a release.

His hands ran down her back, stopping at the bottom of her shirt and rubbing small circles on the smooth skin there. She didn't think she could get any closer to Tony but she pulled him to her as hard as she could, hoping that they might meld into one and he could stop the flow of thoughts and emotions that threatened to explode everyday. As he wrapped his warm, strong arms around her she forgot what she had been worrying about and threw every bit of herself into the kiss which only stopped when they both ran out of air.

She didn't hear the words as Tony pulled her to lay on the ground with him, didn't hear them as their clothes hit the floor at a rapid rate, didn't hear them when he picked her up without breaking the contact of their lips and carried her to the bedroom. She did hear them as they shut the door though, she heard them crawling up the wood and trying to turn the handle but they were stuck at the closed door, unable to enter her room, leaving her be with Tony for one night.

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_Please review, Jules._

_I'd like to pay tribute to 'I Bruise Easily' by Natasha Beddingfield. Without that song the kiss and more would have never happened, I honestly didn't plan for it to happen it just kind of came out without me trying and I was powerless to resist _:)


	12. Chapter 12

A.N. Once again this has taken a while to get up and I would have had it up yesterday but my dumb internet decided to stop working so I had to wait until it was up again. Short A.N this time =P I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review!!!! It makes me sit down and start writing instead of sitting down and playing solitaire.

Dislcaimer: I don't own any recognisable characters.

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It didn't take her a few moments to figure out where she was or who she was with. She remembered every detail perfectly; every touch, every sound and every feeling. She remembered the satisfaction as the words clambered at the door unable to get in and she remembered the guilt as they finally laid down to go to sleep, of using Tony, her best friend but then she heard the words rattling the door handle and she tried her best to ignore that feeling and focus instead on falling into a, hopefully dreamless sleep. But now the morning light was shining through the window she felt the guilt creep back again and another feeling she wasn't sure she wanted. Regret. What did she regret? Sleeping with Tony? Letting him see her that weak? The fact that she had begged? The fact that the sex hadn't meant anything? That opened up a whole lot of new questions in her head and Ziva realised with an angry sigh that she hadn't gotten rid of the words, just replaced them with new ones.

Did she want last night to have meant something? If someone had asked her that last night she would have said no without hesitation but now she wasn't so sure. She loved Tony but she loved everyone at NCIS. Was her love for Tony different? Was he even more than her best friend?

The new words got too much to bear and Ziva pushed herself gently away from Tony and got out of bed, putting on her running clothes and trying to gain some form of normality after the jumble of unanswered questions that was last night.

-

He groaned and rolled over, trying to shield his eyes from the bright sun from a window but the thin pillow did little to stop the glare. Wait, thin pillow? His pillows were thick and covered with dark cases, not thin and white like these were which meant he was at someone else's house. Then he smelt something, something achingly familiar that no matter how often he smelt it, it would never fade into the background. Ziva. A sweet but not a sickly smell, something exotic, musky, _Ziva_.

Last night came back to him with a big bang and a sore head as he rolled off the bed and hit the floor.

"Ziva?" he whispered urgently. He didn't know why he was whispering. It wasn't like they had to hide what had happened here, just around Gibbs.

He took a big breath in. Gibbs was going to kill him.

Tony knew he shouldn't have allowed last night to get so out of hand but it was like the only thing he could see was the crazy in Ziva's eyes when she had looked at him, begging for him to let her escape and it was all he could see now. She hadn't dreamed last night as far as Tony knew; she hadn't woken up screaming or clutching herself to him, trying to show herself he was still alive and he hadn't been sobbing silently in her sleep as an endless roll of images went around in her head. Surely that counted for something? He had stopped her remembering for one night but that wouldn't matter to Gibbs. He was still going to kill Tony.

He groaned and pulled himself up off the floor, walking to Ziva's wardrobe and pulling out a selection of the spare clothes he kept here before shuffling into the bathroom to have a burning hot shower that hopefully would ease the worry and guilt he was feeling.

-

She slammed the door open, lungs bursting and legs aching, wanting nothing more than a hot shower to warm up her cold fingers and toes when she found Tony already up and showering.

Could she? Technically he had seen everything last night but just because they spent one passion-filled but meaningless night together didn't mean she could step into the shower with him and expect everything to be normal.

_Normal._ She hated that word. What was normal for them? At the beginning there were two settings, flirt and fight. They had either been all over each other, just asking for a head slap from Gibbs or they were having screaming matches across the office, sending everyone running for cover from the flying office supplies. After time they had worked out a balance, they started having dinner at Tony's apartment once a week and watching a movie afterwards. In those days things were fairly normal, if by normal it meant carefree and easy. Easy to be friends and easy to let their strong flirtations from earlier in their relationship die down until they were just simmering beneath the surface. Then Jeanne had happened and with it came all the secrets and loss of trust, the worry and then finally out the other side, the forgiveness. Things had been rocky for a while after that, both of them feeling the simmering feelings start to heat up again but the secrets each had kept from one another had put a gap between them and they didn't know how to close it up. Jenny's death, being sent back to Israel was all a blur now and Ziva wondered if it was because she was trying to keep those memories far away, she dwelt on Jenny in her sleep she didn't have to do it while she was awake as well but with their separation came the time when they came together again and it was like a second chance to get things back to normal, back to the carefree and easy days. They were nearly there when Kiara came in and threw any balance in her life in the air and even once she wasn't a major part of her life like she had been those few days, the pieces were still in the air, slowly landing. They had landed last night but not where either Tony or Ziva were expecting. But they would survive as they had in the past; Ziva just hoped they wouldn't lose anything on the road to the survival. Like the head she was going to lose when Gibbs found out what she and Tony had done because there was no question if he was going to find out, only when. She just hoped she was out of arms reach.

The shower stopped and Ziva realised gratefully that she didn't have to decide whether going in was right or not and instead starting peeling off her sweaty clothes in preparation for the burning hot shower that hopefully would ease the memories she was thinking about.

-

They arrived at work only ten minutes late and not having spoken a word all morning except for when Tony had tried to start a conversation they both knew they were going to have to have eventually.

"Ziva-" But that had been as far as he'd got after Ziva gave him her death glare which she reserved for him only, her hand twitching towards the gun attached to her hip. Tony thought it would be best to shut up after that.

They got to their desks without Gibbs seeing them come in but McGee, it seemed, chose today to pay close attention to the pair which resulted in the very question they didn't want asked.

"What happened between you two?"

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_Thanks for reading, please review. Jules._


	13. Chapter 13

A.N. I am aware that this chapter is EXTRA short but it is because the next chapter after this is the last one plot wise. After that there will be an epilogue but that's it so please review! With feedback and ideas because I want to know what you think and if you want anything in the story- now is the time to tell me!

Disclaimer- I don't own anyone but Kiara. All other characters belong to CBS. I will ask for them for X-mas AGAIN though and cross my finger...you never know.

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_They got to their desks without Gibbs seeing them come in but McGee, it seemed, chose today to pay close attention to the pair which resulted in the very question they didn't want asked._

_"What happened between you two?"_

-

_Damnit!_ Tony thought. _Was it that obvious? _He took a big breath in and thought through everything. He had been extra careful to not show anything on his face or in his body language and Ziva was impossible to read as always, so how had McGee known something had gone on? If it was Gibbs he would have understood, he seemed to have a sixth sense for lies and secrets but McGee? World War III could have started on his front lawn and he wouldn't have noticed.

"What do you mean McGee?" Ziva asked, her voice sounding strained to Tony but he doubted anyone else would have noticed.

McGee looked up from his computer, hesitantly meeting Ziva's eyes. His own eyes were slightly unfocussed and as usual more innocent than Ziva had seen in men half his age.

"Nothing, you two just seem tense."

Tony breathed out a sigh of relief, trying to meet Ziva's eyes but they were stubbornly avoiding his. Why was SHE the one avoiding him? Last night was her idea; she was the one that begged-

And it suddenly clicked, as if a light bulb had actually flicked above his head and he let a small smile grace his face, staring unseeingly in front of him.

"Uh oh," he heard Probie say. "Tony's finally lost it."

He stayed away from Ziva for the rest of the day, making excuses to leave the room if they were alone together. He nearly didn't leave when he saw her face as he once again said he was going to see Abby, so sad and hurt, but he had a plan and he would follow through with it, even if he did want to leap across his desk and kiss her sad, drawn face until she smiled again.

The elevator finally reached Abby's lab's floor and he got off, walking slowly to Abby's door. Now he was here he wasn't sure he wanted to see Abby, knowing her she would have talked to Ziva and although Ziva wouldn't have told her about last night, she would have guessed something was up.

"Hey Abs,' Tony said loudly, expecting to have to yell over loud music but there was none on and his voice echoed strangely around the empty lab. "Abby?"

"She's with Ducky," a warm, rich voice that was achingly familiar replied from the doorway. Tony looked at Ziva properly for the first time that day. The dark circles that had taken up residence under her eyes had lightened since yesterday, almost non-existent. Her eyes were brighter too, not as bright as they used to be but they didn't have the crazy, tormented look he had gotten used to lately either. Even her hair was starting to look like it usually did; light, curly and free. Was that all from one good nights sleep? Once again Tony thought, _screw Gibbs._ If it made Ziva feel better, he would stay with her every night. He was so caught up with what Gibbs's reaction would be, he didn't notice the disappointed look Ziva gave him before slipping out the door.

_Just wait for tonight, _Tony thought. _I'll fix everything tonight._

_

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Hope you enjoyed it! Not long until the end now, please review!! Jules._


	14. Chapter 14

A.N. Okay, so here's the last REAL chapter- there will be an epilogue but that's it. I hope everyone has enjoyed it so far and PLEASE REVIEW!! You'll only get one more chance to after this so for all those people who have added this on alert but never review (there's quite a few of you) review now!! It will make me happy.

Disclaimer- If I owned them, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction, I would be writing the script.

* * *

He opened her door quietly but strode across her lounge room with purpose, most likely alerting Ziva to his presence but it didn't matter because Tony had a plan.

He walked all the way through her apartment until he reached the bathroom door; the noise of the shower running was muted through the door.

Tony took a deep breath in.

It was now or never.

The door swung open much more quietly than he had expected and as he walked inside his eyes fell on Ziva.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this, Tony thought angrily. She was supposed to have her back to him, the water pouring down her hair and running down her legs. She was supposed to tense up until he stepped in with her and placed a kiss on her bare shoulder. He was supposed to show her that he loved her and that she would never have to beg again; show her how much she needed her.

But she wasn't standing tense with water running down her back.

She was sitting on the floor of the shower, her knees pulled up to her chest. She was facing him but she didn't even look up from the tiled floor. Tony was really annoyed. She was probably the only woman who showered like that.

And then he saw the blood.

He ran and opened the glass door and Ziva's eyes slowly met his.

"I didn't mean to Tony," she whispered. "Ani mitzta'eret. I'm sorry. Ani mitzta'eret"

He tried to block out her words but they cut through his ears, making him wince with every one.

"I didn't mean to, I slipped," she kept on insisting as he crept into the shower with her, wrapping a now soaked arm across her shoulders and pulling her close.

He wanted to believe she didn't do it on purpose but after the last few months, he wasn't sure of anything anymore. Ziva suddenly pulled away from him, her eyes angry but lacking the usual fire; she just looked lost.

"You don't believe me?" she asked; shock and sadness written all over her usually unreadable face.

"I don't…know, Zi!" he replied, his face as open and full of emotion as hers was but filled with confusion and guilt.

She didn't react the way Tony suspected. Instead of yelling at him and shooting him in the jaw, she sagged.

Her shoulders slumped and her head dropped and it took Tony a moment that tears were mingling in with the water drops on her face.

If he was surprised at her reaction before, he was stunned now. She didn't glare at him and tell him to get out, she didn't pick up one of the many weapons lying around and she didn't put up a wall. She only muttered one word but it was one Tony would never forget.

"Help."

He stood up, the water beating down on him, soaking his clothes but he didn't mind. He picked Ziva up, she was so light, and he carried her into the lounge room, taking the blanket off the back of the coach. Wrapping her in it tightly, trying to stop her body from shaking.

He sat down in front of the heater, pulling her closer than they had ever been before and then Ziva looked into the glow of the gas flames, took a deep breath in and opened up for the first time in her life.

"I didn't do it on purpose Tony," she pleaded once again. "You have to believe me that I would never do that to myself, bevakasha. Please."

Tony couldn't look into her eyes; the emotions were too strong, to confronting so he looked into the orange flames that lit up the room.

"But I liked the way it felt. It was like I could focus on something other than these words in my head for the first time in ages, she whispered. Tony wondered how the whispered words could sound so loud. It was like they were being yelled into his ear and they broke through into his head, swimming around his body until he was filled with them and it was all he could hear. He wanted to cover her mouth with his hands so he didn't have to hear what was going through her head but he was stuck, not moving, staring at the heater, not even wincing as her sharp words cut through him.

"The words are always in my head, sometimes mocking, sometimes comforting but they are always there Tony, they never go away." Her voice turned quiet, filling the silent room with her horrible story and Tony could only hold her and stare into the flames.

"They tell me what it would have been like if Kiara had stayed with me. They show me pictures of her alone and scared because I wasn't with her and now whenever I'm not with her I can't help but imagine the worst. She's so much like Tali, Tony. I don't want to lose her; I can't live through that again." She didn't keep on talking after that and the silence filled up the room, broken only by Ziva's ragged breathing.

"Tony," she whispered and that was all it took for him to move again because if Ziva needed him, he would come. He had ignored her so many times in the past and he wouldn't leave her to battle everything alone again.

He pulled Ziva closer to himself, still wrapped up in the blanket like a giant burrito and as Tony ran his fingers through her curly, damp hair she let go and cried into his chest, his clothes still damp from when he had pulled her from the shower.

"Don't worry, it will be okay," Tony mumbled against her hair. "I'll make sure it will be okay."

They stayed by the heater until they were both completely dry; Ziva telling stories of her childhood; of her, Ari and Tali and the training her father put them through.

They kept on talking, swapping childhood stories and dreams until Tony's eyes were shutting of their own accord and Ziva could actually see a bit of light.

* * *

Tony clamped his hands over his ears, trying in vain to block out the loud ringing that echoed all through the apartment. Eventually it stopped and Tony breathed a sigh of relief, snuggling back into the warm blankets surrounding Ziva. But another, much closer ringing started up and with a groan, Tony gently moved Ziva from on top of him, went and picked up her cell phone and answered it quietly.

"What's the matter Probie?"

"Where are you?" he whispered back obviously distressed about something. "And why are you whispering? Boss is starting to get really-"

"Tony," Gibbs's voice cut through. "First of all, why are you answering Ziva's phone, secondly, why are the two of you late and thirdly, is Ziver okay?" His voice went softer at the end, letting Tony know he cared just as much as he did about Ziva.

"I've got everything under control here Gibbs," Tony said, hoping Gibbs would pick up on the double meaning. "Ziva's sleeping."

There was a pause on the other end of the line.

"Sleeping properly?" The dark circles under her eyes hadn't gone by unnoticed by Gibbs.

"Yeah," Tony whispered and even over the phone Gibbs could hear the tenderness in his voice.

"I don't need to see the two of you at work today." His voice was business-like again but it turned soft when he added. "You take good care of her."

"Thanks Boss," Tony said but he was met with the dial tone. He stood up from his position on the floor and his back protested with a loud crack.

"Ohhh!" he groaned. "Next time you have a mental breakdown and you want me to stay with you, can we do it on a bed, or even a couch," Tony rambled until a sleepy voice answered him from the floor and he jumped, not expecting Ziva to awake.

"But where the fun in that?"

"Oh hey Zi," Tony said gently, bending down to her level.

She glared up at him, her eyes soft but the rest of her face hard.

"Just because I needed you last night does not mean I need to be collymoddled," she said grumpily, glaring up at him until he started cracking up laughing. She closed her eyes, giving a small smirk.

"I got that wrong didn't I?" Tony smiled up at her, his hand gently stroking her cheek and for once she didn't flinch or pull away. That gave Tony hope; hope that they could get through this together, get through anything together. But he didn't tell Ziva this, she wasn't one for the mushy talk so he kept silent, instead showing it all through his eyes, hoping she would see and feel safe, even if she wouldn't let him say it out loud. They would get through this; he thought. They would get through it because now they had each other.

"It's mollycoddled Zi."

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_Please review!! Next chapter is the last. Jules _:)


	15. Epilogue

A.N. So here it is, THE FINAL CHAPTER!! I'm so excited. Okay, I guess I've got nothing else to say other than thanks to everyone who read this (yes, even if you didn't review) but especially my reviewers, your reviews make me so happy!! Thanks also to all my riends for putting up with me when I was grumpy and had writers block and for when I was happy because I finished a chapter =P Thanks to Black24 for helping me with my Hebrew and thanks for Casey for helping me with ideas. Everyone has been great so here it is, I wont delay too much longer- only to say REVIEW! It' your last chance!!!!!

* * *

_Epilogue_

"Come on Mum, we'll be late for Ziva's plane!" an eight year old Kiara yelled out to her mother, running down the stairs carrying a bundle of pictures she had drawn especially for Ziva.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Emily replied, opening the front door for the excited girl. Together they walked down to the dark blue car waiting on the curb.

"Hi Tony!" Kiara said as she climbed in the backseat, waving to him and Gibbs as Emily slipped in behind her.

"To the airport!" Tony yelled as Gibbs took off with the tyres squealing. They got to the airport in record time thanks to Gibbs's crazy driving which had Kiara screaming for joy and Emily clinging on to the door,

They all jumped out of the car, walking in the door before spotting Abby, McGee Palmer and Ducky and running over to them.

"I can't believe Ziva's coming home again!" Abby squealed while hugging Kiara. "I checked her flight, it arrives in five minutes so come on, it's gate eighteen!"

They all walked down the airport, Abby and Kiara running ahead until they reached security. They all went through with little delay (Gibbs wouldn't give up his knife) and soon they were off again.

"Come on!" Abby and Kiara yelled. "She's arriving any second now!"

They all broke into a run, wanting to be there when Ziva arrived from Tel Aviv.

-

Ziva got off the plane, her body aching with the flight and the lack of sleep over the last few days.

She changed her hand luggage to the other hand as she entered the large airport, the cold air blowing in her face.

She tried looking through the security lines to see if she could see anyone she knew; she was hoping to see Kiara and maybe the team but she couldn't spot anyone.

She breathed out and tried to stop the tears that were burning behind her eyes. _You're just tired, _she scolded herself. It was her fault she was sad now though; she had too high expectations and once again she was let down.

She went through security on auto pilot, picking up her bag when she was through. All of a sudden she was tackled around the waist by a young girl.

"Kiara!" Ziva yelled, hugging the little…well not so little anymore, girl back.

"I've missed you so much Ziva," she whispered.

"I've missed you too Perach Katan. Did you come here alone?" she asked, pulling away from Kiara and looking around the airport.

"No my mum's here. MUM!" she yelled at the end, running into the crowd and coming back with a familiar woman by the hand.

"Hello Emily," Ziva said politely, trying hard to be nice for Kiara's sake.

"Ziva," the woman replied warmly, taking Ziva's hand in her's and shaking it. Maybe Ziva's first assumption had been wrong; the woman seemed stronger than she had in the school car park. Did she become stronger for Kiara? Or was it just that Kiara had so much energy and strength that Emily had changed without realising? Ziva didn't really care though; she smiled back at Emily this time really meaning it.

"Have you talked to Tony recently Perach Katan?" she asked hesitantly.

"Of course she had," a deep familiar voice answered from behind her. A voice she hadn't heard for ages except over crackly phone lines.

"Tony," she whispered, not wanting to turn around in case she was imagining things and he wasn't really there.

"Ziva," he whispered back, his warm breath tickling her neck.

She stood completely still for what felt like hours but was really only a few seconds, feeling his familiar presence, his smell, his voice before slowly turning around to face him.

"TONY!" she screamed, jumping onto him and holding on so tight she thought she might choke him but he was holding onto her just as tight. She wrapped her legs around his waist, the force of her hug sending them flying to the ground, landing on a bin which fell over, causing them to topple onto Ziva's bag, then roll off, hitting a pot plant and sending dirt flying everywhere until they rolled to a stop in the middle of the chaos. Suddenly Gibbs's head appeared above them.

"You've only been here five minutes and you manage to make a mess," he said sternly but with a smile on his face. "It's good to have you back Ziver" He helped her up, pulling her into a quick hug.

"It's good to be back Jethro," she replied cheekily, squeezing him tightly before being rugby tackled by a tall, bubbly goth who was hugging her so tightly she couldn't breathe.

"I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" Abby squealed, holding onto Ziva until McGee pulled her away; Ziva was starting to gasp too much for his liking.

Abby stood next to all the others as Ziva and McGee embraced, sharing words of welcome.

"So good to have you home my dear," Ducky said, as he and Palmer hugged her.

"It's been way too long," Abby said, unable to keep the smile off her face. "Is everyone ready for dinner?"

Everyone nodded except for Ziva who was looking confused.

"You haven't been home in eight months. We're all having a big dinner so we can catch up!"

Truthfully, Ziva just wanted to go home and sleep; she had had a rough few days and wasn't sure if she COULD make it through dinner but she had missed everyone so much so she put on an enthusiastic smile.

"I can't wait."

-

She could feel her eyes closing but she could also feel Gibbs's comforting touches, Abby's tight warm hugs, McGee's friendly smiles, Palmer's awkward high fives, Ducky's many stories and Tony's warm hand running up and down her thigh; so she focussed on those things instead.

She turned to smile at Tony who was sipping the last of his drink and she couldn't help but giggle when she saw the remains of the cream from his dessert all over his face. Everyone at the table soon joined in laughing except for Kiara, who was asleep.

Abby handed him a napkin and he wiped the cream off his face, grinning down at Ziva as he did so.

"Hey Sweetcheeks." His voice was suddenly right next to her ear and she sighed, closing her eyes at the feel of his warm breath on her skin. "You look tired. Are you ready to go home?"

Ziva sighed out loud at the thought. She would give anything to go home with Tony and fall asleep peacefully, his large frame enveloping hers, keeping her safe and warm.

"Yes please," she whispered back and she could almost feel Gibbs's eyes boring into the back of her head. Even though they weren't partners anymore, Ziva's father had brought her back to Israel, Mossad needed her; he still glared at them when they showed too many signs of personal affection in front of him. Ziva didn't mind, she wasn't much of a holding-hands person anyway but it was times like this where she wished she could just reach up and kiss Tony gently without Gibbs's growling in the background.

But today she was too tired to worry what Gibbs thought.

Their lips met briefly. It wasn't passionate, it wasn't desperate, it wasn't lust filled. It was just a kiss. It was simply for Ziva to feel him, to know that he was really here with her.

"Ziva's tired from the flight so we're going to head off," Tony announced to the group and Ziva barely noticed him sliding her out of the booth and guiding her towards the door.

"Goodnight everyone," she mumbled but the door had already shut and she was in Tony's arms, being carried gently to his car.

She didn't remember the car ride, only waking up when Tony was trying to get her out.

"Come on Ziva," he murmured. "Give me a hand here."

They managed to get out of the car and into the apartment before Ziva collapsed on the bed that felt so strange yet so achingly familiar at the same time.

She felt someone pulling off her shoes and her uncomfortable clothes, slipping a large OHIO STATE t-shirt over her head and tucking her in.

She didn't really think about the fact that Tony was there, the fact that the bed smelt completely like him and that any minute he would be joining her in the warm bed. She didn't think about that tonight because she didn't have to. What she had to think about was every other night; the fact that Tony wasn't there, that the room smelt foreign without his comforting smell and the fact that she would be sleeping alone again. She didn't have to think about anything tonight though. She just had to feel.

Feel his skin against hers, feel his warm body around hers, feel the large t-shirt slip off her shoulders and for the first time in eight months, feel completely and utterly happy.

* * *

_YAYYYYY! It's finished. I hope everyone has enjoyed it as much as I have. Remeber to review!!!_

_Jules._


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